Good evening!
It's bedtime here at the Anderson household, but I just wanted to touch base with you all before turning in. We are headed to Madison tomorrow to begin chemo and I thought one last little "hello" was in order...because Don is not feeling well at all. This is really kind of unreal at this point in the game. Within the last month or so he's fought 2 sinus infections and now he's got some viral bronchial thing that the doctor says will last 4-6 weeks. Really? He's not impressed at all with that.

Life can be just a thrill a minute, can't it? He's sneezing, coughing, and breathing like an old man trying to take care of everything...and doing a wonderful job! I just feel so bad for him feeling so bad. Thanks for your prayers on his behalf.

Good night...and love to you all!
Debbie

Hello! It's been a week or more since we've chatted...all has been well. We've spent the week just "living"...taking care of details of life and trying to live normally. A dear friend asked if I can go 5 minutes without the cancer being "right there". 5 minutes would seem like a 2-week vacation!

Just some updates...I had a 2-week check up with the radiation doctor and all is well there. Everything has healed and I won't need to check back for 3 months.

The wig - hee! hee! I went back to Linda my wig-gal this week and she said, before I could say anything, that this was not the right wig at all for me. Hurray! She exchanged it for the one in the studio that I tried on & was tickled with. She's letting me use it for the time being if I need it before the new one comes in. She has ordered a new one for me - hopefully just like it (she tried to explain the details to me, but I just couldn't grasp "hand-tied", "mono-top" and all those technical wig terms because, remember, I'm still "on vacation" from cancer this week...and really, I don't want a wig, I just want my own hair).

We had a wonderful few days with our children & grandchildren...they came to stay with us for a few days. Yes, they live right here in Rockford, but their new a/c didn't have any freon in it and it was in the mid-90's earlier this week and just plain miserable in their home. Jenn said when all the chocolate in the house liquified, from peanut butter cups to chocolate chips, it was time to find cool air. So they came here - and we enjoyed our time together tremendously! We grilled out, filled the kiddie-pool, ran through the sprinkler, and just enjoyed one another. (They have returned to their home and the a/c installation man is coming next week to add the freon!)

Then yesterday we spent a little of the afternoon taking some family pictures. It was a most bittersweet time. Since this diagnosis, I have had it in my mind to do some "family" pictures with Kurt & Jenn and Mia and Livi. It's been a long time since we've had a family picture and I wanted to do it, well, now. Kurt is a wonderfully talented photographer and very creative with scenery, etc. besides being most patient. We headed to the park and enjoyed our time with bubbles, in the water fountain, on the play equipment and just in the out of doors. At times, tears threatened to overwhelm because this thought of "if it weren't for this horrible cancer..." kept rearing its head - yet I was pleased that we had the time to take some pictures of these good times.

Though the cancer is always there no matter the conversation around me, no matter the activity, no matter the wonderful company alongside - the bigger and greater presence is that of our God. Do we grasp His omnipresence? His omnipotence? His - well, all those big words? " 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you'....so we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?' " (Hebrews 13:5, 6)

All is well, really. I still have a few more days of "vacation" before chemo starts on Tuesday. And it's a holiday weekend, besides. We have plans to be with both sides of the family & spending time with friends, near & far...then there's the blessing of worshipping God together on Sunday with all our "family" there...just making precious memories along the way. I cannot explain to you my overwhelming gratefulness to God for every day, simply each day.

Love to you all...thank a veteran for their service to our country this weekend (or anytime, for that matter!)
Don & Deb

I think we have rounded a corner!!!! Oh - I cannot tell you how good I feel! I woke up this morning, after a tired, tired day yesterday (no particular reason, just exhausted) and I had this burst of energy...oh, how good it feels! I feel like my old (read "former") self and I am so so grateful that God has been patient with me and allowed my body to rest as it has needed to. I've struggled a bit with a couple of physical effects from radiation...itching, burning, blisters, but those are all going away, too. I haven't mentioned much about that because it just sounds like whining and who wants to listen to that? Another thing with radiation that I did not know is that your skin changes color. I suppose that makes sense, but I hadn't given it much thought and had never heard anyone mention it. My skin has taken on a little mocha tint...not quite the gorgeous bronzing color that some pay money for...but tinted, none the less. I probably won't be showing anyone, though!

The energy has lasted through 2 hours at Woodman's (the grocery store), unloading & putting away at home...so that tells me it might be here to stay! I'm enjoying the day - as is Don. He just has a huge smile on his face when I'm feeling better and I try to be mindful of that. So - thank you, again, dear God, for giving us a little relief in and amongst the storm...under Your wing...that we might hide for awhile.

Once again - and I hope you never tire of hearing this - what a blessing you are to us. The support, the caring, the love, just the sitting at times with us, the phone calls, the cards, the "bleach" suggestions...and the untold prayers & petitions that we will never know of...we thank God for you...He is the God of all compassion and grace and mercy...we cannot thank Him enough for the kindnesses you have shown. Our hope is not in radiation, not in chemo, not in the doctors - though all of that can (and we pray, will) be used by God for restoration, to be sure - but our hope is in Him, the God of all creation. May all this bring glory to His name!

Have a wonderful weekend...
Love you all,
Don & Deb

We're home!! A scripture comes to mind...Proverbs 19:21 says, "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Another version puts it this way, "Man makes his plans, but the Lord has the final say." How true, how true. We were all set for chemo - even did the blood work & had the IV ready to go...and met a new doc in the group who was a bit uncomfortable with chemo coming so quickly on the heels of radiation. It has something to do with the specific chemo drug, white cell counts, etc., etc. There was talk amongst the Madison docs that are caring for us and a difference of opinion concerning the next step...not so much a disagreement, but a feeling of "should caution prevail?" or "should we go full steam ahead and bank on the chance of no infection occurring?" When the new doc heard that I'd been exposed to a couple of things in our family requiring antibiotics, the decision was made to wait. That is really fine with us - grateful as Jenn said that someone is paying attention and concerned.

So - I'm free for 2 weeks!!!! Two weeks will allow my body all the time it needs to rise to the occasion of chemo. It will also give me time to get that wig thing straightened out! It will give us 2 weeks of regular life...how we long for that at times without everything being so "cancer"-centered.

We give praise to God for the on-the-ball care of our doctors and for provision & safety in ways we are not even aware of. Thank you, Father!

Oh - just a note about some of the precautions the doctors have mentioned when chemo starts...no buffets (WAY too many germs on the handles & tongs) and nothing from the deli (they wear gloves but touch everything!!).

Love you all,
Don & Deb

Greetings Dear Prayer Warriors:
Just received a phone call from Mom and Dad, Chemo has been postponed until June 1st! "What???", you may be saying to yourself or out loud. There is good reason for this!! Dad, Mom and doctors have decided to postpone chemotherapy as a precautionary measure due to Mom's white blood count being lower then the doctors would like to see. It is riskier for her to start chemo today then wait 2 weeks. Looks like the doctors are really paying attention and making decisions to keep Mom the healthiest she can be...Thank you God for technology and the doctor's knowledge!

Looks like Mom gets 2 more weeks of civilization and Dad needs to get more bleach!!

Thank you for all the prayers!! We love you all!

Love, Kurt and Jenn

Hello!
'Twas the night before chemo and all through the house...

Don has bleached every surface in our home, washed every towel...he's like a mean, green cleaning machine! He's bound & determined, so far as it depends on him, there will not be ONE GERM alive when we return from chemo. And just a warning along those lines...please do not take offense if you come to visit and he meets you at the door with washtub & sponge in one hand and douses you with bleach with the other. He's already given a speech or two about germs & the harm they can do to people who's blood counts get very low. And he plans on running a "germ seek & destroy" where ever I go. I may not see civilization for months...I'll just wave at the living room window!! But as far as Don's efforts go, I WILL be germ-free!!

Oh, the wig fitting today...you won't see a picture just yet. It did not go near as well as the "buying" did. I didn't get to the stop light after leaving the shop before taking it all off (the wig & netting underneath) right there at the stop light. I did not even care who was watching!! The wig is in a plastic bag and I will need to be in a better frame of mind to tackle it...it just looks like a dead thing sittin' on my head - not at all like it did before. Poor girl, the stylist trimmed & trimmed, thinned and shaped - and I still looked like "helmet head". She said I can come back as many times as I need to - it will take many, I think...though there is only so much hair to trim! The wig will need to wait for another day...

My emotions just feel very raw right now and I know it's mostly because of tomorrow and the chemo thing. And I'm just being a big baby!!! Thanks, though, for your prayers!

We will keep you posted as the next few days come & go...you are tremendous support & encouragement and it feels like we are surrounded by such a "great cloud of witnesses" because of your prayers & petitions on our behalf. Thank you.

With love,
Don & Deb

Ha!!! Rejoice!! Rejoice!! We have good news!!! Today was "graduation day" from radiation...complete with balloon, certificate, and pin...great day! Part of the "graduation ceremony" was a final visit with the radiation doctor. He had marvelous news!! He said that it appears the radiation has had minimal side effects while doing its work - and the best part - he said that since my body has responded so well to radiation, their experience is that I will respond well to chemotherapy, too. He said that if the strain of cancer is resistant to radiation, it can also be resistant to chemo...but this has not been the case here. Thank you, dear Lord!! Thank you!! It is just the best good great news, isn't it? You all have been with us through all the bad & difficult news - and we are so glad you are here with us to celebrate this great & wonderful good news. Again, we just say thank you so very much, dear God, for Your kindness!!

God's mercies to each & every one...
Love,
Don & Deb

Good morning...had a wild day yesterday with our "wig appointments". Oh, my. It's like buying clothes - they look great on the hanger, but totally different when you try them on. The first place we went to provided nothing but comic relief - and that's important. It was absolutely hilarious with the styles & colors I tried on. By the second appointment, we had settled down a little and could be a little more serious about all this. The second gal, Linda from Essentials, was most helpful and patient. I tried on & tried on and with the help of my mom and Jenn, settled on something. Now that I know how to do the picture thing on this blog, I'll send a pictures along when the fittings are done.

How about those glasses??? It's little Livi (our youngest granddaughter) with Grandpa and his "Walgreen's" disguise.

Have great day...
Love,
Don & Deb

Good morning,
This morning's conversation is more of a "public service announcement" for you gals - young & old. To many of us, this whole cancer thing just seems so unreal - and scary. How did this all get so far so fast - and the scarier question that I hear some of you asking is, "can it happen to me?" Well, Dr. Rose said something last Friday that I did not know - and I've been pondering it all weekend and decided to write about it this morning. I want you to be aware of what he said...it is, though, quite sobering for me.

I asked Dr. Rose how long he thought this cancer had been present. Of course, he didn't know, but he reminded me that I had mentioned "spotting" that started about 2 years ago in our earliest visit and he said that that is an early-warning sign of cervical cancer. I had never heard that before, not ever read it anywhere - didn't have a clue. While it can be a sign of other things, too, like menopause, then hysterectomy as both our doctor here & I thought - it is and should have been a "red flag". And, while a "pap" test would not have revealed this specific cancer (the one I had done in March did not), the "spotting" should have given a well-trained and alert medical professional a nudge to check further...perhaps a biopsy to "rule things out" as that is much of our medicine today. But in defense of all, cervical cancer happens to other women...not me. Cervical cancer is mostly the result of a promiscuous life or living in a third-world country. Only 1% of cervical cancer falls into the non-HPV category, according to what I've read & been told. Only 1%. But "spotting" is an early-warning sign, even in the 1%.

PLEASE UNDERSTAND, I am not blaming anyone; not our doctors, not myself (I don't think...?)...absolutely not. It was just simply missed and not checked into further. Our conclusion seemed to fit the symptoms. I AM SAYING - gals, pay attention to what's going on and be aware that "spotting" isn't always the beginnings to a hysterectomy. Some of you may be saying, "well, of course not...what's she thinking?" I can't tell you the number of women who have/had the same thing and no one I know has had anything but a hysterectomy. Why should this be any different? But I missed the signs. I played "doctor" and missed it. The sign was there; it just seemed to fit something else more easily. This just doesn't "come out of the blue" with us being unaware. I don't want any of you to be afraid that somewhere, somehow, this will descend upon you without some notice. But you've got to pay attention...and act. The medical profession is different than it used to be. You must, at times, be your own advocate & doctor.

For me, it is what it is. I cannot go back for a "mulligan". No re-do's. No one knows, either, that even if I had known of other symptoms, that this could have been prevented or gotten "earlier" and treated...no one knows that for sure. Playing the "what if" game at this point is of no value to me and will not be of any help. But perhaps this little bit of information will help someone reading this - or a friend of a friend of a friend to be aware of a symptom or a little something that doesn't seem "quite right" and maybe prevent this devastation in someone else's life.

We all overlook things in life...some don't really have serious consequences - some do. I cling to Romans 8:28..."And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." And then, following that...Romans 8:37-39..."No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

We had a wonderful Mother's Day celebration yesterday...thanks, Jenn & Kurt, for your love & care. We enjoyed dinner out at my Dad & Mom's...Dad "smoked" killer ribs...thanks, Dad & Mom for your love & support. Don's folks came over Saturday night for a visit and we had a lovely time with them...thank you Dad & Mom Anderson for your love and support!

Enjoy your day...may God's mercies cover us all!

Love you all,
Deb

Dear family & friends,
I wish I had good news to share with you, but I do not. I don't know about you, but I'm getting a little weary of every doctor's visit bringing more bad news than the one before. Not only do I have stage IV cancer ("I" being the easiest to cure and "IV" being the most difficult), each stage is "a" and "b" ("a" being the lesser and "b" being the tougher), I have stage IV b cervical cancer. Ugh. The toughest of the tough...maybe it's this tough so that there can be no doubt when the healing comes as to Whom the healing came from???!!

I'm sorry to be the bearer of such news, but Dr. Rose volunteered that we are looking at probably one year, including treatment time. He was quick to say, too, that he really doesn't know...it depends on chemo, the cancer's response to chemo, my body's response to it all...and so many other factors that we haven't considered - INCLUDING PRAYER!!!!!!!

Treatment (chemo) begins May 18 and the regiment is for 3 separate treatments over 9 weeks. All will be done in Madison. We asked about doing chemo here and Dr. Rose said "possibly". He was kind and encouraging with his comments concerning Rockford's ability to treat - he has heard great things with the docs & the treatment team here. It's just that Rockford hasn't treated as many of this particular kind as Madison, so we've decided to stick with Madison. There was some consideration of doing nothing - and we talked a little about that today. My thought was if time was really short, did I want to spend it being sick? However, there is a glimmer of hope with treatment and if any amount of treatment buys time, then we'll go for it. We will start treatment, do a scan after a time to see if the chemo is working; if so - great; if not we'll try a different combination...until such time as we say "enough" - or there's remission!

I am so sorry - these are horrible, difficult, trying words to read and absorb. We are just nearly limp with emotion - and honestly, desperation. We asked about surgery, transplant, anything we could think of. All possibilities were met with the same kind, compassionate answer..."I'm sorry, no".

Now a request, please...please keep our parents and siblings in your prayers. This is tough. Please keep Kurt & Jenn and the little gals in your prayers...it's horrible. Then there's Don. Words cannot describe to you the heartache that this man is bearing. I am fine - it's these that I love - and you, other dear family & friends - that I can hardly bear to watch suffer. This is the hard part now...but it's also the part where the good news will come from. The treatment, the remission - we can't get there without going this route. So travel this route we will. Trusting God, no matter the outcome...again I say, trusting God no matter the outcome.

Please do not hesitate to ask questions, to pose situations we perhaps haven't thought of...we welcome your input. We thank you for your love & care for us...what a blessing you are to us!

With much love and many thanks...
Don & Deb

Dear family & friends,
Thank you for your kind comments & constantly holding us up in prayer. The strength we have is from God and through your persistent prayers. Thank you for your part in our well-being.

I have made a couple of appointments for...wigs. Ugh. Not sure that losing all my hair will be part of this...most do, a few do not; but I want to be prepared. I was talking with a friend who went through chemo several years ago - and the wig thing, too - and we were talking about shaving the hair once it starts falling out. I'm not sure I can do that. And I could probably get really worked up about all this...you know, tears & such...but I think we can have some fun, too. Just think - no more "plucking" anything...eyebrows, etc. (you gals know all what the "etc." means...!) Maybe I can be ready in record time, too, with a wig, because I won't be spending time with a curling iron. And maybe I can get a different color wig for each day of the week! Maybe a different style, too!! Yes, I think we will have some fun! Don has never seen me without hair...how would he have??? So, I thought maybe I'd put pantyhose on my head to try out the "bald" thing for him...so he wouldn't be so shocked if it does happen. What if I'm in a wind storm & lose the crazy thing? You know, like a man with a major comb-over that gets lifted up in the wind...oh, my!! What if the wig gets twisted around and I don't know it...kind of like when you're skirt gets tucked in your waistband or something...will anyone tell me? Oh, I pray so!!

All these questions, doubts, anxieties...yet I'm reminded..."do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer & petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." Here's the icing on the cake..."And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Hallelujah!! Amen!!

Thanks for listening...
Love you all,
Deb

Just a "Mayo Clinic" update. We have canceled our appointment with Mayo and, as of yet, have not rescheduled. I think I mentioned that earlier. However, Mayo's has said that they will "evaluate" the pathology slides taken from the 3 biopsies I've had (2 in Madison & 1 in Rockford) and we are jumping at that opportunity. The Physician's Assistant from Mayo that I spoke with encouraged us to send the slides themselves - not the reports - and Mayo's pathology department will take a "look see" and come to their own independent conclusion as to diagnosis. That is really all we have ever wanted. We have taken the long way to get here - but we are just thrilled with the idea. Thank you, God!!

Today I've contacted all pathology departments involved and the slides are on their way. Yes!!!

Love to all,
Deb

Good evening...Don & I had a wonderful day together yesterday and all we really did was hang around the house and do nothing!!!!! Neither of us was feeling particularly spiffy - he was "under the weather" and had been to the doctor on Friday afternoon without putting up a fuss (translated that means he was really sick) but after good medicine, a little rest, and some OJ, he started to feel a bit better. So Saturday night we had a bite to eat & watched a fabulous movie called "Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story". We're doing the Netflix thing - don't know if any of you do "Netflix", but for us it's wonderful. We pay the $4.99/month and get 2 movies each month. That's just about all we can get in in one month and sometimes not even that. The problem is I'm the one that picks the movies and we've had some hum-dingers!! The worst - absolute worst - one was about 2 brothers who hadn't spoken or seen one another in years. One, who lived in Iowa, wanted to go see his dying brother who lived in Minnesota, but didn't have a driver's license or car (I think). He decided to drive his lawn mower through IA to MN for a visit. True story (we tend to go for the true story ones) but slow???? S L O W - it was worse than watching paint dry. Awful. But I would encourage you to watch this one about Ben Carson...wonderful and just plain uplifting!!

Radiation starts again in the morning - I have weekends off and it's a nice break. I asked what the radiation is supposed to do as I really didn't know, never having been through it or close enough to ask anyone who has. Radiation shrinks and destroys the tumor/tumors...yea!!! The radiation "beam" I guess you call it - though I'm not sure that's what it is (guess I'll have to ask tomorrow) points directly at the tumor and, for me, it's a 10-second zap and that's it. There are different types - internal as well as external. Mine, right now, is external. Takes longer to put on the hospital gown (and keep it closed) than the actual treatment!

We are not discouraged but we start the countdown - again - to the meeting with Madison on Friday to get the details of the next phase - the chemo. (Last week's meeting was canceled to do the death of our doctor's father-in-law.) Seems we live in our "happy place" for awhile, then reality hits as we get closer to that next phase. Though I do not feel "sick" - tired & "weird" sometimes (Don says it's the pain meds that are making me loopy!!) the overwhelming and looming-large cancer thing is always right there coloring every moment...BUT larger than all that is the conviction that God and His angels are there ahead of and around any threat of defeat. I do not mean to say that I know we will beat this and I will be healed - perhaps I will and AMEN!!! AND AMEN!!!!! - but I do not know that for sure. Hear me loud & clear - THERE WILL BE VICTORY NONETHELESS!!!!! Thank you for your prayers, cards, phone calls, e-mails, visits, hugs...oh, my! Do you know that since this all started a month or so ago, there has not been one day - not ONE day - that we have not received cards, letters, or notes in the mail! Every day brings 3 or 4, sometimes 8 or 10. Our little living room/dining room looks like a Hallmark store!! It's a blessing - even the one "sympathy" card I received! Now that took my breath away for a second! Life is just hilarious sometimes!

Take care - and keep your eye on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of our faith...consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary & lose heart. (Hebrews 12:2 & 3)

Love to you all...
Don & Deb