Hello! My legs are feeling better - very little Tylenol today. Thank you for praying! My spirit is refreshed by your kindness. I'm guessing that these leg things will be like the other side effects - here a few days and gone (hopefully, prayerfully!). The Bible does not teach that a Christian never has pain - or that one short desperate prayer will take all illness away - by no means. My comfort comes because there is MUCH comfort in knowing that God directs and gives strength to endure as are my days!!

I just have to tell you this. Last night I was laying awake a little bit - not long, just waiting for a few minutes to pass by to take more Tylenol - and I began to think about the healings that Jesus did while He was here on earth that we find recorded for us throughout the Gospels. My mind settled on the men that lowered the paralytic down through the roof on a mat to get to Jesus for healing because there were too many people crowding the doorway. (Mark 2:1-12) What marvelous folks those were!! I'm guessing here, but don't you suppose the paralytic was so very grateful for those men who found a way to bring him to Jesus? That got me to thinking today and I've read just a little bit of the healings found throughout Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. A lot of the sick, paralyzed, blind, demon-possessed, and otherwise unhealthy folks - not all, but a lot - were brought to Jesus by other people...family, friends, perhaps neighbors (the Bible sometimes just calls them "people").

My thought is this...how grateful we are, beyond words, for the love and care, prayers and tears of those of you that are surrounding us now and bringing us before the throne of God. And in the days to come. Unbelievably grateful!

Love you,
Don & Deb

I am so sorry, but this will not be an uplifting read for you, I'm sure. If I sound like I'm whining, I am. No doubt about it.

Fewer side effects with this new drug? Or, maybe they said the side effects would be less intense. Either way, there are NEW side effects - one that I have not had to deal with yet, but I'm gathering is quite common for chemo folks. Oh, goodie. I am having leg aches/cramps that are a little bit of a problem. They started on Saturday, both legs and from my waist down. Off and on for Saturday and into the evening. But by Sunday morning they had taken up roost and appeared to being staying for an extended vacation. These aches or whatever are not charley-horse-type hurts. My legs feel like they are "percolating" - pulsating, maybe - but with aches that are constant. I talked with the folks at Madison and they have assured me that this is one of the side effects. We're starting simple-like with Tylenol, and though at first it seem to help, it does not seem to be doing the trick tonight. Perhaps it's because the sun has gone down and so has my patience. I am just trying to wait it out and hope that this passes as have the other side effects.

Pain tends to lower our resistance to the devil, doesn't it? Or at least it does mine. I feel myself becoming more vulnerable to feeling sorry for myself - and that isn't of any help to anyone! Thank you for your prayers for all this. I feel so very selfish coming to you and asking time and again for your prayers. Don and I cannot do this on our own! We need the help of our heavenly Father and we thank you for your petitions on our behalf.

Well, it's Tylenol-time and I'm trying to stay on track hoping that will help some.

Love and thanks,
Deb

OK - flexibility! It's a good thing for some things. Cancer may be one of them! Madison called today at 12:30 p.m. while we were lunching at McD's (remember, it's Friday and many of the Andersons along with other family, friends, and who ever comes eats lunch at McD's every Friday...stop by sometime!!) and said the drug was in. We were thrilled! (I wondered if transplant patients feel like this...waiting and wondering and then you get "the call" and off you go!!) We made it to Madison, did the lab work and got all hooked up with the chemo drug. Tiny little bag - must not be a 1/2 cup of liquid in it. And get this - NO nausea medicine. None. I got a little concerned and asked the nurse 3 different times about it. She kept saying "you won't need it". Don kept looking at me like - she doesn't know you!!! Finally, I had a little talk with myself first and the conversation went something like this...you are going to MAKE yourself sick if you keep this up, so STOP IT! Then I handed it to God and mentioned that I hoped these folks knew what they were talking about!!

We were in and out in a jiffy, though it was just about a 6-hour trip all together. It's about 8:00 and I am just fine. Tired and feeling a little strange - like how could I have gotten this chemo stuff and feel just fine-strange, but good! I'll take it!!!

Next Friday, same thing...Lord willing.

Have a great weekend...and give the Lord thanks for the blessings in your life...I'm guessing they are many!

Love,
Deb

Good evening...just wanted to drop a line here before turning in. It looks like we are not headed to Madison tomorrow morning. The chemo drug has not arrived in time for treatment. If it comes in tomorrow morning sometime, they may call and we can dash up tomorrow afternoon. That seems unlikely at this point. So, the appointment, then, will be next Friday. Another week. But, that's ok, too...helps me gain a bit more strength and white cells before beginning again.

Good night, sleep tight!
Love,
Deb

Hi there...we're home from Madison after a long day of "meet & greet". We met two of the gals on the research team, met the folks at the research facility that will monitor the CT scans, and met another doctor in the group that we hadn't met before. Had labs done early this morning, then the clinical trial paperwork - lots to read over and contemplate before signing. Grabbed a quick bite to eat (before the 11:00 a.m./no food for 4 hours before the CT scan), then headed to the research building. We had a couple of hours before the scan, so we found a shady spot and took a little nap. Beautiful breezy day in Madison, though it looked like clouds were rolling in as we left town. The scan was quick - 10 minutes. I was a bit tummy-tossed when we got home (the pre-test drink didn't set as well as it had before), so I went right to the chair to get things calmed down. Don headed off to do a little work and now we're in for the night.

We'll return Friday morning to Madison for more blood work (it's a marvelous thing that God has done to make sure our bodies keep making that stuff because there are those that stand ready to keep taking it!) and the first chemo. It should be a short morning!

Just wanted to jot you a quick note this evening...enjoy you're evening!
Love,
Deb

Good news, good news!! Our doctor called just now and said that "they" have chatted about my case and I can participate in the clinical trial! We are so grateful for that - it just seems to give us more options to lick this thing. Yippee!! I will go to Madison next week for a pre-trial CT scan and then go back later in the week for the infusion. All the infusions will take place in Madison as the trial procedures must be monitored closely.

We are trusting that the Lord's hand is in this - we have prayed much for wisdom and open doors. We are just simply trusting His care!

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement during this most discouraging and emotionally overwhelming week. The words of Scripture that you've sent, words to songs and poems, along with your caring "I just don't know what to say" speak volumes of love to us and buoy our spirits. We hope that they have buoyed yours in return.

Love to all,
Don & Deb

Hello...we are home and unpacked from Madison. I forgot to tell you of our most recent dining adventures! Though saddened and disheartened, we still find wonderful places to eat. Priorities! We ate lunch yesterday with family & friends at Fat Jack's BBQ in Monona (kind of like Rockford/Loves Park). It was quite the scene! Tuesdays are "all you can eat" ribs & chicken and most of the men in our group had that...some of the "bone plates" were 4-5" high! Looked like a pig crawled up there and died! You could smell the wood grilling throughout the restaurant and did it ever smell good. I had chicken alfredo and it was the most unusual chicken alfredo I'd ever had. It was spicy as all get-out, had peppers, onions, and mushrooms in it. That will teach me to order chicken alfredo in a bbq house! And for supper? Don & I had an "exquisite" meal together...Cheetos & a pint of chocolate-and-the-kitchen-sink ice cream! From the little grocery store/pantry in the hotel lobby. Exquisite!

We are still soaking in the news from yesterday. I said to Don this morning that I feel "whooped up" on. Just feel beaten up. I was reading back over my notes from our doctor's visit yesterday and I had missed reading one of the notes I'd made while doctor was talking. It was a note about the lymph nodes in the pelvic region - though the tumor has shrunk, there is increased activity in the lymph nodes. Just gets better & better, doesn't it????? The doctor also said that whether I do the clinical trial or the conventional combo drugs, the schedule will be the same...1 day a week for 3 weeks, one week off, then begin again. And it will be for the rest of my life or as long as it works...we had not heard that before. The rest of my life.

So now we wait...wait for the doc to call to say whether or not I can participate in the clinical study. Please pray for wisdom on our part - to know which path to take. We are leaning towards the study, but must wait to be accepted.

Again I would ask that you might pray for our families...Kurt & Jenn and Mia & Livi...our parents and siblings, too, and other dear ones (many of you!) that are walking close by our side...oh, how we love you, each one.

God's blessings to you, each one...
Love,
Don & Deb

Thank you for praying for us. We are strengthened and encouraged and we believe our strength and courage is a result of those prayers. We just continue to pray that we are vessels that can be used by Him - no matter what.

We met with the doctor this morning and he reviewed the PET scan from yesterday. It appears that, once again, we are met with challenging news. His observation was that there is "an increase in metabolic activity in the lungs" and that there are new tumors growing. There is also increased activity in the pelvic lymph nodes. Ugh!!! Not the good news we were hoping for. Don said just a little bit ago - "I'm not liking this path we're headed down." No, we certainly aren't liking it.

He did say that there are tumors that have shrunk - that is good, but not good enough to continue the treatment. We have stopped the chemo that I have done up to this point - and scheduled to do this week. We have a couple of options...one is a trial study and the other is another drug combo. If I qualify for the study, I believe we will do that. If not, then we'll do the other. This is still all very "new" and we haven't had time to absorb the shock, once again, of what this really means. But we have calm heads - sad hearts - and we'll take a little time until we hear from Dr. Rose to make our decision.

We are staying in Madison for tonight and taking a little time to rest. We're trying not to be overwhelmed with all this. Like I said before - God is God no matter the outcome. Though it feels like the flames are lapping all around, we will persevere. Thanks for your love and concern.

Much love,
Don & Deb

Good afternoon! It's been quite awhile since I've written to say "hello"...hope all is well with you. It's been blistering hot here in northern Illinois - as it has been across much of the country. Lots of iced tea and ice cream (more tea than ice cream, though). Speaking of ice cream, we have just learned that Don's cousin's son & daughter-in-law have opened up an ice cream shop in Lodi, WI and they serve...guess what? Babcock ice cream!

It's been a great week - filled with activity and "stuff". Seems the week just before chemo begins again is the best of the bunch and I think I saved everything for this week. Perhaps a bit much, though - I was in tears when I got home from the grocery store on Thursday and told Don that I didn't think I could manage by myself at the store anymore...it was one of those "but I used to be able to - what has happened?" moments. I have rested and that has passed and I will tackle that task again another day!

The body scan (PET) is set for Monday morning in Madison. We are leaving for Madison on Sunday after church and Kurt & Jenn and the girls are coming with us. We'll have a day or two in the pool amongst test/treatment and enjoy our time there. We meet with the doctor to get results on Tuesday and assuming all goes well with the PET scan, I'll start the 4th round of chemo on Tuesday also.

This is what I'm thinking right now - have you read about Daniel's friends being thrown into the fiery furnace? (Old Testament Daniel, the 3rd chapter...terrific story - and true, to be sure!) You've heard about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? They wouldn't bow to the king or worship his golden image and the king got mad and threatened to throw them into a blazing furnace - and the scriptures say "immediately". No time to bargain or whine or complain or call a lawyer. Either they bowed now or else. And the king asks this pointed question..."Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?" (Dan. 3:15). The three men, who desired to worship the One true God Almighty, said this..."If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king." Pretty confident, weren't they? But this is the part that really packs a punch. They go on to say "But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Wow! Even if God does not rescue them, they will not bow...they will endure what life brings.

I do not pretend to have the courage that these men had - and others in the Scriptures - but I serve the same God and my heart shouts out with them - even, God, if this cancer hasn't shrunk or gone away, even if ill comes my way - I will serve You no matter.

By the way, God DID rescue the 3 men. Scripture records for us that after the king threw them into the furnace, he saw FOUR men walking around in the fire - unbound & unharmed!!! The king referred to the 4th man as an angel (vs. 28). After the 3 men were brought out of the fire the Bible says that their bodies were not harmed nor was a hair of their heads singed, their robes were not scorched - and no smell of fire on them!! The king said this..."Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego...they trusted in Him and defied the king's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God." The king issued a decree that anyone who said anything against their God would be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into rubble, "for no other God can save in this way." The king recognized the One True God and HE is the GOD I serve - because there is no other God!!

So, armed with the Holy Spirit, the prayers of many, and the peace that passes ALL understanding, we are off to Madison. Come what may, God is still God and that will never change!

Love to you all...and many thanks...
Deb

Hi there...you will never guess what I did yesterday morning! I got my hair cut!!!!! No, not a "cancer buzz", but actually cut - like it was getting too long to manage! Yes, it's much thinner, but it's there!! And now it's easier to manage because it's a bit shorter and tidied up. Yes!! I know, in the whole scheme of things, having or not having hair is not very high up on the "important" list, but I'm enjoying having my hair. I wouldn't have guessed, at the outset, that I would have hair this long into treatment...but hair I am. Thank you, Father, for the little things.

This isn't very high up on the "important" list, either, but it's one of the fun things in life. I am constantly on the lookout for a good blueberry muffin recipe. There are just some things that say to me "yes" and banana bread and blueberry muffins are two of them. I've got the banana bread down pat. Now on to the blueberry muffins. I think I may have found it. Then our daughter, Jennifer, made them and added a butter crumb topping making a good muffin so much better...perhaps a little powdered sugar/butter glaze might just put them over the top! Here's the recipe and feel free to add more blueberries, too!

Blueberry Muffins (courtesy of The Latimer House Cookbook)
2 c. sifted flour - ok, I didn't sift it
4 tsp. baking powder
3/4 c. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 c. blueberries - I used frozen and a heaping cup
1/2 c. melted butter
1 c. milk
2 eggs, slightly beaten

Crumb topping
3/4 c. flour
1/4 c. sugar
Dash of salt
4 T. butter at room temperature

Preheat oven to 400*. Grease muffin cups (I used paper liners instead). Sift 2 c. flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt (I stirred, didn't sift) and add blueberries to coat. In separate bowl, combine 1/2 c. melted butter, milk and beaten eggs. Add to dry ingredients and mix only until combined. Spoon batter into prepared tin. For crumb mixture: Mix together 3/4 c. flour, 1/4 c. sugar and dash of salt. Cut in 4 T. softened butter and mix together as for pie crust until well-combined and crumbly. Sprinkle tops with crumb mixture. Bake until a tester comes out clean, about 20 minutes for large muffins and 12-15 minutes for mini-muffins. Be careful not to overbake. Makes 16-18 muffins.

"Taste & see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him." - Psalm 34:8

Enjoy...
Deb

Hi there...Do you get tired of reading about "WNT" - winded, nauseated, and tired? I'm guessing you do! I am that - but better. Saturday & Sunday were not near as symptom-free as Friday, but I'm feeling better and better each day. Like I said before, there is a pattern here and this is now "normal".


We have just passed the 4-month mark. This diagnosis came just 4 months...and though Dr. Rose said he could not be sure (wise man!), their experience showed a 12-month life expectancy for this particular cancer. You are smart enough to do the math. You know what that means. I ponder what I have done with this just-passed one-third of the rest of my life, if that is what God deems so. How have I spent it? I pray that what has been done has been to serve God's greater good and made a difference in the lives around me for all of eternity. Pressing on!!


Are you refreshed and encouraged when you read God's word? I certainly am. Sometimes nothing seems right with the world, life is chaotic and busy, there is unrest within and reading His word sets me upright again. Reading His promises to us, His caring, gentle ways, His basic teachings - the "always" and "nevers" and how to behave and treat other people...His word brings peace and calm to my soul.


However, there are many times when I read Scripture that I am challenged to move away from sin - to stop sinning - to clean up a heart-illness, to put bitterness and anger aside, to be gentler, kinder. There are times when Scripture sets my thinking straight again after I've listened to the world or wandered a bit from the Truth. Then there are things that God doesn't say. Those are some of the most intriguing to me. (But we must be careful lest we draw a conclusion that God never intended.) I was just reading an article written by Joni Eareckson Tada sent to me by a dear friend and the jest of the article was (or at least what jumped out at me) that it was not Jesus' purpose here on earth to simply heal people physically. (She sites examples from the gospel of Mark.) We hear much from well-meaning folks to the contrary, don't we? "If you only had more faith"...etc. Physical healing would be near & dear to Joni's heart, as many of you know, as she was paralyzed from the neck down in a diving accident when she was a teenager and I believe she may be late-50's or so now. She's had many years and difficult circumstances to ponder this healing stuff. Jesus' purpose, as we're told in Scripture, was to seek and to save the lost. There are many of God's people that will not experience physical healing in this lifetime. Perhaps I am one of them. Perhaps you are. But we all have the opportunity for spiritual healing - the only healing that really matters for all of eternity. Have you pondered how long eternity really is? As I read in Scripture - and you can, too - there are two and only two choices. Heaven or hell. Both real. And it's not a flip of the coin or some arbitrary thing. Our destination will depend on choices and paths we travel here, our obedience to God's word...repent, be baptized, live faithfully. And His loving grace and mercy. May it be so with you.


Go out today, be kind and compassionate in the name of Jesus!

Love you,

Deb