The beginning of a new journey!!!

This is a copy of my 1st post on my new blog...DearMom-LoveJenn.

The URL is listed at the bottom of this post for those of you who would like to join us on our different journey.

Saturday, June 4, 2011

The beginning of a new journey!!!

Welcome to Dear Mom-Love Jenn!!
This space I will use for letters to my Mom, Debbie Anderson, who went to be with her Heavenly Father on April 1, 2011 after a 12 month courageous journey through cancer. She taught me so much and we miss her!! I want to write about family times, my girls growing up, celebrations, trials, all those moments I would have shared with my Mom. I want to write them down, so I can share them with my girls as they get older I am also hoping this will help me grow, heal, and learn through this season of life. Life hear on Earth will move forward, but there is a piece of us that is missing. Although that piece is missing, Mom taught us so much that sometimes it is if she is still here. I am so very grateful that my parents taught me about God, faith, hope, and love.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
Thanks for following,
Jenn

This is the URL for my new blog...DearMom-LoveJenn!!!

http://dearmom-lovejenn.blogspot.com/2011/06/beginning-of-new-journey.html

Good morning loved ones,
Today is Friday!!! Today is the last full day of school for our little Mia and next year she is going to be in 2nd grade!! This weekend it's going to be a hot one and with the school year pretty much behind us, it's kind of the beginning of summer. I love summer time to be flexible, go swimming, have a P.J. day, watch a movie, go on a day trip, go to the park, blow bubbles, sidewalk chalk, run through the sprinklers, farmer's markets, outside concerts, time with family and friends. What ever you choose to do this summer, enjoy God's presence in your life.
I have been thinking about changing the how I blog a little bit. On the Sunday before Memorial Day, a video clip was shown with a girl who wrote letters to her dad who had died for our country. She wrote about her life, things she would want to share with her dad. So, I thought I may use this blog as letters to Mom, things about our lives that we would've shared with her. So, if the next post starts out "Dear Mom", please don't think I have lost my mind......although sometimes I feel like that is a possibility!!!
Love to you all,
Kurt, Jenn, Mia, and Livi

Good morning,
So it's been awhile since I have made a post. Today I thought I would just drop in and say "hello"!! I have been very busy with the end of school, taking my third online class, going to Kurt's art shows, youth group things at church, playing with the girls, spending time with Dad, and other stuff. I have also been trying to sort this all out. Mother's Day was a marking point emotionally for me and I think Dad agrees. I would cry anytime I had time to myself, songs would touch my heart,and thoughts of heaven would overflow my head. For now, I think we are all just busy and going through the motions of life and missing Mom every step of the way. I know some of you have shared with me your times when you think of her or miss her. We still see her in the kitchen (any kitchen, but mostly at home and church), greeting in the foyer, by my Dad's side, sitting in their pew, at family celebrations, in the office at home, calling on the phone, getting an e-mail, and all those times she just listened. On Friday afternoon, I was driving around town and I thought I should call Mom and see if she needs anything (you see my cousin's graduation party was that evening and usually Mom would have been in the kitchen). It's tough to miss someone you love, but we do know that God is in control. We also know that we are not the only ones who have lost a loved one. We think about those of you who have lost someone you loved and how God has worked in your life and how God shines through you even when times were difficult.
Many of you have asked how are we doing. Dad, Kurt, and I have talked about this, our solution is that we are doing alright and we are going to move forward. We have also said that if we pull the covers up over our heads and sulk all day long, not only Mom but God would be so disappointed in our actions. And if it were possible, Mom would come right out of that grave and smack up around. Yes, there are moments of sadness and the support of family and friends is greatly needed, but together we will move on.
Thank you so much for continue to join us and being a part of our lives!!
Love, Kurt, Jenn, Dad, Mia, and Livi

Here's the recipe: (It's from Paula Deen's Just Desserts cookbook)
Ingredients:
Cake:
1 18.25 ounce yellow cake mix or chocolate (I used yellow because there is someone in the family that doesn't like chocolate...Kurt...can you believe it???)
1 egg
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted

Filling:
1 8 ounce package of cream cheese, softened
3 eggs
1 Cup Peanut Butter
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 16 ounce box confectioners' sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) butter, melted

Preheat oven to 350 F. Lightly grease a 13X9X2 inch baking pan.
In the bowl of an electric mixer, combine cake mix, egg, and butter and mix well. Pat into the bottom of prepared pan and set aside. Still using an electric mixer, beat cream cheese until smooth;add eggs, peanut butter and vanilla. Dump in confectioners' sugar and beat well. Reduce speed of mixer and slowly pour in butter. Mix well. Pour filling onto cake mixture and spread evenly. Bake for 40 to 50 minutes. Don't be afraid to make a judgment call on the cooking time, because oven temperatures can vary. You want the center to be a little gooey, so don't bake it past that point! Remove from oven and allow to cool completely. Cut into squares. Just remember that these wonderful little cakes are very, very, very rich!!

Enjoy!!!
Love, Kurt (I made these for his birthday) and Jenn

Good morning,
Just a quick hello today. Mom has used this blog before to ask for prayer and today that is why I am writing. Yesterday the Lowman ladies went to a Mother/Daughter luncheon. We had a good time and enjoyed being together. On the way home, the girls and I were listening to a favorite CD with a mix of singers and "I can only imagine" by Mercy Me came on.....usually I skip that one. But yesterday we sang at the top of our lungs. It is so beautiful to hear my little girl in the back singing. Tears were streaming down my face to think of Mom in Heaven, but also listening to the voice of Mia singing about Heaven.
Here's where the prayer comes in. Last night I realized how tough this week was going to be for me because Sunday is Mother's Day! Just talk to God to keep me strong, think about memories with Mom and help me to enjoy my little ones this week!!
Thank you!!
Also, I made a new recipe this weekend and I'll share it with you all soon. Peanut Butter Gooey Cake!!!
Love to all, Kurt and Jenn

Greetings dear prayer warriors,
These last few weeks and days have flown by, which is good. I would rather have them go by quickly, so they do not drag on. But at the same time, not too quickly so there is no time to reflect and grow during this season of our life. At the beginning of 2011, Sherm made a challenge to the church body to read through the Bible in a year (yes, even though I went to Bible college...I haven't read through the entire Bible....shhhhh!!). My thought that Sunday morning was " This is going to be a difficult year. And by reading the Bible this year and spending more time with God, we will make it." Now, I have missed some weeks, but last week during the high school Wednesday night gathering we as a small group decided to hold each other accountable to read which is helping me to get back on track. Now, there are still parts that I just can't wrap my head around, but the more times I read the more it's going to make sense. But God's words is relevant. And I must say that I am thankful that we no longer grieve as they did in the Old Testament. I think that is because we have hope in our eternity. Jesus over came death and there is a place prepared for us. Amen!!!
Many of you have continued to pour our your love to us. Thank you for continuing to pray for us as we are grieving because we have lost a wonderful wife/mom. We also think of the many of you lost a dear daughter/sister/aunt/niece/cousin/friend. May the Lord comfort and guide you through today!
God bless you all,
Kurt and Jenn

Good morning loved ones,
This week was back to "normal" routine for all of us.....if you can call it normal. As I headed back to work many expressed they sympathy and sorrow, which was wonderful that so many care, but also tough. This also opened to door for me to share God's love, too. As for Dad, he continued to take care of details from Mom's funeral, get back into routine business life, and start working on paperwork. I stopped over for lunch the other day and he had the table set for me and lunch was ready. It was so darling and great to be able to visit.
A couple days ago, I was thinking I should put a post up, but about what. This blog was started to inform about Mom's health and allow God to work through her. Wouldn't it be awesome if God allowed phone calls from Heaven??? But would that spoil the surprise??? We all know Mom would want to share every detail and I would love to hear her voice!!! I am sure she would tell me that what we are going through right now "will build character"!
Enjoy your weekend!! Worship our Risen Lord and King!! Hug your loved ones!!
Love, Kurt and Jenn

Dear loved ones,
So much is on my heart and mind! We would like to thank everyone who was able to hug us in person over the last couple of days, everyone who sent heartfelt messages to us, and all the prayer warriors that have lifted us up!! Even though we gathered together to celebrate the life that my Mom lived, her words of wisdom will live on. Saying "See ya in Heaven, Mom" was tough, but at the same time a promise and something to look forward to!!
I am going to try to attach an audio clip of the service to a blog at some point, but if technology will not allow me to do that copies of the service are available to those who would like to hear it. Also, Sherm has been preaching on Heaven for the last 5 weeks. If you have any questions or just want to be blessed and inspired to live a life to glorify our Heavenly Father, get a hold of these sermons. Today's was on what will and won't be in Heaven! Let me tell you, I have never felt more Heaven bound than during the message and songs that followed!! Praise be to God!!
This week Kurt, the girls, and I are back in our bungalow and Dad in his. Yes, this is a tough step, but God is with us! Also, if you live in the Rockford area and need something to do this coming weekend, check out the ArtScene. Kurt will be displaying his work at 4 different locations. Pamphlets are located throughout town and I'm sure there is a website.
Lift your eyes towards the Heavens this week!!
Love to all,
Kurt, Jenn, Dad, and girls

Dear Loved Ones, We are so glad to be a part of the family of God!! Thank you family for surrounding us with your love. Thank you God for your people that have been so kind and thoughtful!! May we continue to share God's love together! So, I'd like to share some things that are going on here. The girls and I are still at Dad and Mom's house, which is a tremendous blessing. We have set up the arrangements for the service. We have gone shopping together...creating new memories. We even took Dad to a resturant he'd never been to...can you believe it?? We also had to do some of the most difficult things ever. Like pick out what Mom would be wearing, choose songs, choose scripture, pick out a casket, and "land". But, even in the toughest times we are still joyful because Mom was a Godly woman and she is at the feet of Jesus. We hope that the next couple of days are used to reflect on the life that Mom lived and the impact that she has made on so many. We hope that as we gather together to celebrate her life of serving others, that we all share those memories so we can learn from her example. We love you all!! Dad, Kurt, and Jenn

Good evening loved ones, Quite the day!! Thank you to all for encouraging us, calling us, sending cards, sending flowers, stopping by, feeding us, visiting us, hugging us, praying for us and with us during this painful time. We would like to share the times of visitation and services with you. Visitation on Thursday, April 7th at Central Christian Church in Rockford, IL from 4 p.m. to 8 p.m. and Service on Friday, April 8th at Central Christian Church beginning at 10 a.m. proceeded by an hour visitation starting at 9 a.m. Love to all and sleep tight, Dad, Kurt, and Jenn

Oh dear loved ones, As I sit here this morning, typing in Mom's office, so many ways to tell what I have to tell you. None of them will be easy to read. None of them will you want to read. But I would like to share what I am thinking, some of the emotions and thoughts that are in my head. Free at Last, Free at Last....my Mom is free from pain!!! It is finished...the pain is gone! "He will wipe every tear tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away." Revelation 21:4 Yesterday afternoon Debra Ann Anderson went to spend eternity with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!!! And I am confident in that because of the life she lived and because (as a very dear friend of ours very young son put it)...she was baptized!! I would like to encourage if you are confused or if you are not sure about this whole Heaven thing, pick up your Bible!! Search for the Truth!! Even though we are sad and we WILL miss mom, we are going to continue living a life that is pleasing to GOD!! We want to celebrate the race that she ran...she is celebrating, too!!! Continue to pray for as we will be making some tough decisions in the next few days. And saying good-bye is never easy!! I will post the details of the service as I get more information. And I will continue to use this blog as a healing tool for our family because you, Prayer Warriors have taken this journey with us and we will not leave you, now!!! I pray for you all, too, as you have lost a sister in Christ!! Love and peace be with you today, Dad, Kurt, and Jenn

Good Morning, "Today is the day the Lord has made!! Let us rejoice and be glad in it!!" That being said, Dad and I have been trying to keep Mom comfortable with the meds Hospice gave us and we have done a good job. This morning Mom woke up with some moaning and expressing pain and we just couldn't get her comfortable. We called our Hospice nurse and she came right over. As she is still here getting meds adjusted and consulting with the pain pump doc's nurse, I write to you with the information she gave us. Today we will continue to keep her comfortable as we release her completely into the hands of our Heavenly Father!! The nurse has said "It won't be long!" And, I have to share that Dad and I went into the kitchen to chat for a minute and we actually gave each other a thumbs up because we know that there will be no more pain!! We love you all!!!! Thank you for your continued prayers and support!! Love, Dad, Kurt, and Jenn

Greetings from Westchester, The queen is back in her palace!! We had made the decision to come home after visiting with Northern Illinois Hopice. The move was made yesterday afternoon. She was brought home in an ambulance and moved into her bed. The move was rough and she encounted pain, but we are home. After getting home, Hospice people were here to greet us and make sure we were all comfortable. We got instructions for meds and spent the night on our own. The girls and I will be able to spend a couple of nights here. Tomorrow morning we are making Swedish pancakes and starting up the grill. I make it sound like such a easy going thing that Mom is home, but as we sat and waited for the ambulance we watched nurses come in and thank Mom for being such a wonderful patient. They said their good-byes and we took a deep breath and realized that this is just another step towards us saying good-bye...that was tough!! I would also like to share a thought with you that I had a couple days ago. The doctor had come in and was explaining where he thought Mom was in the process of taking her last breaths. Some of us were watching her breath and getting nervous that the time might be near and the physical, mental, and emotional strength that it would take to move her home would be too much for her. The doctor ensured us that even though she has cancer that is filling her body, she has a good heart. My first thought was "Well, yeah she does have a good heart, no an excellent heart. She cares for everyone." Love, Kurt and Jenn

Dear Prayer Warriors,
So much to tell you where do I start? Mom was bright eyed and bushy tailed today, she was able to get about 15 hours of sleep Friday night. She was interested in eating and ate. She visited with folks. She had her toe nails painted by Mia!! She had a smile on her face that we will never forget. She was indicating that she was enduring some pain, but the dose of pain meds helped that pain. Overall it was a good day.
Our family had another meeting with the Hospice social worker today. A different gal then yesterday. Abbie answered our questions with compassion. She helped us to see other options and she listened to our concerns. Tomorrow afternoon will be a time of decision making for our family. This is the hardest decision of our lives thus far, so please pray for wisdom, gentleness, and peace.

Love to all and sleep tight,
Kurt and Jenn

Hello loved ones,
What a blessing to be surrounded by such wonderful family and friends today. We had McDonald's for lunch, chatted, shared memories, caught up on life, hugged, cried, laughed, and just spent the day together!!! Thank you!!!
We met with Debbie from Hospice this afternoon. She explained what Hospice would do and how they would support our family during this time. But I must share with you that even though Hospice sounds like there are many benefits, we have some concerns with going home. One being that right now in the hospital, Mom is very comfortable and making a transition may upset that. Please pray that the hospital will be patient with us!!
Until tomorrow....
Love, Kurt and Jenn

Oh loved ones how we are all weaping as we celebrate the life that Mom has lived and is continuing to live. She is greeting family and friends, sharing stories, and keeping us all in line. We love you all!! Thank you for continuing to support us!! Dad and I are spending the night in the hospital tonight! Good night....Love to all!!

Oh Dear Loved Ones,
We come to you this morning with news we don't like. Yesterday, Dr. Lowery shared with us that he was unable to get the stints into Mom's kidneys. He said that during the procedure, he observed very advanced cancer growth, in fact the most he has ever seen. He wept with us as he shared that there is nothing else that can be done except to keep Mom as comfortable as possible. He was unsure of time, but he suggested days maybe weeks. Dad did share that news with Mom shortly after and you could see it in her eyes that she knows.
We just want to say thank you for being with us this year and in the days to come!! Pray for comfort and peace.
Love, Kurt and Jenn

Greetings dear ones,
Just a short update and prayer request this morning. As of yesterday, Mom had made some improvements. She was more engaged in conversations and even joking around with Dad (he really enjoyed that)! They are continuing to lower the potassium level in her body. She has received a blood transfusion. She is on oxygen and they are consistently monitoring her. Today she will have stints inserted into her kidneys (non-invasive), but possibly under anesthetic. The procedure will take place around 1 or 2 this afternoon.
We would just like to let you know how much we appreciate all of you!! Please feel free to visit Dad and Mom at Swedes. If Mom is sleeping, Dad enjoys the company!! And most days Grandpa and Grandma Lowman are there and love to visit as well!!
With Love,
Kurt and Jenn

Dear loved ones my heart is very heavy as I write this post. Mom was taken to Swedes in an ambulance this morning due to disorientation and confusion (she wasn't sure who Dad was). After running some tests, they discovered that her kidneys aren't working. It is so hard to watch your loved one suffer.
Many of you heard Sherm's sermons for the past 2 weeks.....Keep your head in the clouds!!! He has been talking about heaven (a real place), where there is no more pain and suffering, and where we will eat delicious food ( I like tator tots, but I can think of a whole lot more things I would rather be feasting on)!! Thank you Sherm for bring this message to us, so we can keep our eyes focused on heaven, not on things of this world!! Thank you God for giving us such a beautiful description of heaven throughout your Word!!
Love, Kurt and Jenn

Greetings,
Dad and Mom are enjoying being in the comfortable surroundings of home. The hospital has assigned nurse care to come 3 times a week and a physical therapist to come twice a week, which is helping Dad and giving him some peace. Although the pain pump is relieving Mom of the pain in her back, she is still experiencing pain in her lower abdominal and beyond when she walks or has to use the restroom (sorry if it's too much detail).
What a roller coaster of a journey this is. One minute we believe there is an improvement and the next is totally the opposite. Thank you God for allowing us to come before you with our requests, thank you for listening to us, and thank you for WORD to guide us!
Enjoy the rest of your weekend!!
Love, Jenn and Kurt

Hear ye Hear ye,
We have received word that the Queen of Westchester arrived in her castle last night around 8 p.m.!!!!! The pain has decreased since the implanted pain pump on Sunday. Her appetite has increased to eating 50% of her servings. She was walking to and from the bathroom by herself. Just wanted to get the word out!! Thank you for all your prayers!!!
Happy St. Patty's Day!!!
Love, Kurt and Jenn

Good Morning,
Here's the scoop from over the weekend. The doctor had put a trial pain pump in on Thursday. Mom was awake during the 3 hour procedure in which they "dug" into her spine to insert the pump tubing. After the procedure she was a shaken up to say the least. The doctor discussed the procedure with Dad and told him it was not in the right spot, but they were going to monitor Mom to see how well she would do. The 1st 24-36 hours were not the best, but Saturday morning the pump started to work. Prior to the procedure Mom would describe the pain as between an 8 and 10, right after the procedure a off the charts 15, but Saturday morning a 3!!!
So,the doctor scheduled the surgery to put in the implanted pain pump for Sunday morning at 8 a.m. The nurse were prepping Mom and the phone rang..it was the doctor who had forgotten to set his clock ahead!! But it didn't delay the surgery but maybe a few minutes!! Procedure went well and the doctor was able to get everything in place. We came home after Mom was out of recovery, so I'll give you an update later on!! She maybe coming home today or tomorrow!!
Kurt and I had a great time in Chicago!! He had excellent feedback on his art!! And, little Livi is now 2!!! Thank you for all your well wishes and prayers!!
Love, Kurt,Jenn, Mia, and Livi

Hello,
Here's the latest scoop. I wish I was more medically inclined and had more details for you, so if any of you have insight..please share.
Mom is still at Swedes and will be there for a couple more days. Her blood sugar levels are more stable. She did receive another unit of blood yesterday, which gave her skin a good healthy pink tone!!! They are also doing testing in order to have a pain pump put in. The nurse explained the pain pump to Dad and I the other night. It will be implanted under her skin on the right side of her stomach area with a small tube that will direct the morphine into her spine, which will have a "freezing" effect on her lower abdominal area and tailbone. God willing, this will give her some steady pain relief and increase her appetite. Our goal is to get Mom to a healthy plateau in order to receive 1 more round of chemo. Right now, she just isn't strong enough to attempt chemo nor does she want to inflict any more pain or nauseousness.
Well, I will update you after the weekend. Kurt and I are headed into Chicago this weekend because Kurt's artwork is in a gallery and Friday night is opening night!! Also, little Liviana Grace turns 2 on Sunday!!
Thank you for all you support and encouragement as we journey down this path.
Love, Kurt and Jenn

Hello loved ones,
Whew, the last 24 hours have been turbulent. Last night around 7 p.m. Mom called to let us know they were headed to Swedes because her blood sugar level had dropped to 48 (it is suppose to be around 150!). She didn't experience any other symptoms,like dizziness or unconsciousness which is amazing with levels that low. When they arrived at Swedes the personal help was fantastic, which made things so much more comfortable for the both of them. Her hemoglobin level was also low (7 instead of 12), which meant a blood transfusion. The blood transfusion went well and Dad said her skin looked so much healthier. Today, her goal was to increase her blood sugar level and keep it at a 150 for 24 hours then she could go home.
We were able to get up to Swedes this evening to visit and go for ice cream with Grandpa!! Mom is feeling better than last night, but has pain, not eating, memory issues (she said " I am just so confused" when trying to recall some of her meds to the nurse, knowing what day it is, and other little things)...I believe it is all due to the morphine (inter-venous).
Thank you all for wrapping your arms around us, praying with us, and supporting us through this roller coaster of a journey.
Love to all,
Kurt and Jenn

Greetings loved ones,
Yeah, we were able to spend time with Mom and Dad!! We were able to visit a little with Mom, but Saturday was a "new patch" day. A "new patch" day means that there is some time in between when the old one comes off and the new one goes on and kicks in, and Mom experiences discomfort and pain. They are going to talk to Madison about adjusting this, so there is no time lapse. The girls enjoyed climbing up in Grandma's bed to watch Pinocchio with Grandma and playing with Grandpa!!! Speaking of Grandpa, last week he did something crazy...he went to Woodman's (very large grocery store) all by himself!!! The two of them enjoy each other so much and their love for God and for each other continues to grow!!
Enjoy your week!!
Love, Kurt and Jenn

Hello Loved ones,
Well, since my last post in which I conveyed the message that we would be able to spend some time with Mom and Dad over the weekend (we were really looking forward to this) the Erickson household was struck with strep and colds!!! Yuck!! Mia and I were sick while Kurt and Livi tried to stay their distance (which is very difficult in our tiny place)!! We are on the mend and hopefully we will be able to spend some time with Mom and Dad this coming weekend!!
So, not much to report..not even funny stories..sorry!! We can report that your love to us is spilling over in heaps!!! Thank you so much dear ones for keeping updated, bringing food, visiting, cards, e-mails, hugs, smiles, phone calls, and most importantly prayers!! On my way to work, I was listening to a David Crowder Band CD and tears just poured out of my eyes because we are so blessed to be a part of such a loving crowd of family and friends and that is because our common foundation is in the Lord Jesus Christ!!!
Through the toughest times hear on earth, may we all stay focused on God's "purpose" for our lives... to be children of the Risen Lord!! Let HIS light shine through you today, Praise HIM, and give HIM all the glory!!
May you all have a wonderful week!!
Love, Jenn and Kurt

Hello Prayer Warriors,
Sorry that it has been a week since I was able to post. During this past week, on Saturday night Mom and Dad had to head to Swedish American (in Rockford for those that didn't know) to get the blood thinner shot. She has had a blood clot in her left leg since 1 week prior to her week long vacation in the Madison Hospital (January). The prescribed shots that Dad was unable to obtain (none available within a 50 mile or more radius) when they arrived in Rockford that Thursday. So, it was ordered. Mom was able to get a shot in Madison that Friday when we saw Dr. Rose and things have been smooth running until this past Saturday. The prescription was to be refilled and again none within miles. On Sunday, Dad and grandpa Lowman ran to Madison to obtain the prescription. I mention this to you as a prayer concern that the medication is not an obstacle. It is just exhausting to my Dad to have a routine run to the pharmacy turn into a run to Madison. And he continues to keep his pleasant, calm attitude when they tell him there are no meds for his wife.
Mom is feeling better. Possibly gaining some strength. We will spend some time with them this week, so I will keep you all updated.
Love to all,
Kurt and Jenn

Good Morning,
Our family is so appreciative of all the support you all are sending our way!!! Thank you!!! Mom wanted to make sure to thank you all for helping us out!!!
Thursday night, early Friday morning they headed to the ER in Madison. Mom was having a rough night. The pain had increased and she was very uncomfortable.She was given some morphine and fluids intravenously and sent home. She felt better yesterday and they have an appointment with the pain doctor on Tuesday. Mom's state of mind right now is that she is "overwhelmed". Continue to pray for strength, peace, comfort, healing and thank God for wonderful family and friends!!!
If you are a midwesterner, enjoy your "wintery mix" of a weekend!!! Lift your voices to praise our Heavenly Father for never leaving our side!!!
Thanks,
Kurt and Jenn

Hello,
Here's the report: Mom is continuing to keep food down, sit up for very short periods of time, visit with folks for really short moments, she still has some pain, and is most comfortable in bed. Dad is able to get out to work (not that he really wants to...he would rather be with mom...even it's just to close his eyes and take a nap) with the help of wonderful people willing to just sit at the house. Funny things: They received a phone call from Williard and Janice (dear friends that live 1/2 the year in Minnesota and the other 1/2 in Texas) the other day. Janice told mom that it was warm and 70 degrees. Mom replied with oooh that's nice, thinking that was unsually warm for this time of year in north. The next call was from Beverly (dear cousin in Minnesota). Then it clicked that Williard and Janice were calling from Texas, not northern Minnesota!! Mom thought this was pretty funny!!
Even though it seems right now that mom is stable and doing well, there are still ups and downs (as those of you who have gone through storms like this know). So, I would like to share the words to one of Mia, 1st grader's favorite songs!!

"You Never Let Go"
(originally by Matt Redman)

Even though I walk through the
Valley of the shadow of death
Your perfect love is casting out fear
And even when I'm caught in the
Middle of the storms of this life
I won't turn back
I know you are near

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

And I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
A glorious light beyond all compare
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
We'll live to know You here on the earth

And I will fear no evil
For my God is with me
And if my God is with me
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me
You keep on lovin and you
Never let go

Singin
Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Yes, I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Yes, I can see a light that is coming
For the heart that holds on
And there will be an end to these troubles
But until that day comes
Still I will praise You, still I will praise You

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Oh no, You never let go
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me

Thank you so much for continuing to travel this journey with us!! We love you all and appreciate your friendship deeply!!

Love, Kurt, Jenn, Mia, and Livi
Dad and Mom say "Hello", too!!

Hi,
Just wanted to let you all know that mom has had a couple of "good" days. She has been eating and keeping it down, not pain free, but when lying down at least mostly comfortable (I hope that makes sense..I just don't want you to think that she is up and jumping around, but things are so much better than they were 2 and 3 weeks), and when she is rested she can carry on conversations with some of her normal humor....it's great!! Get this, you all know she is the bookkeeper and the computer guru. She endures major pain when sitting, so dad revamped the office. He brought mattresses upstairs so she could lay down and get some computer work completed. Yes, some of you are thinking..Why not a laptop?? Well, the software and records are all on the desk top one. But, what a marvelous husband to think outside the box and find ways to show how much he loves her!! Just a side note..their 36th anniversary is Tuesday, February 15th!!
I can not say this enough..thank you for all your comforting words!! Thank you for reminding us of scripture and songs!!
Love to all,
Kurt and Jenn

Hello there family and friends,
I haven't posted anything since the doctor's appointment because it hurts so much to share this information with you. The doctor didn't have some miraculous news for us. Doctor Rose shared with us basically two avenues. One avenue is a different kind of chemo (there are 2 chemo options...one will attack the white blood count and one will have similar side affects as previous..nausea, fatigue, numbing or tingling), but neither will completely get rid of the tumors and not guarantee longevity of life, but will have some other complications. She has had a rough month and wondering if she can handle the side effects of more chemo. The other avenue is to not continue with chemo treatment and live the rest of life trying to manage pain. Due to the fact that Mom was released from the hospital on Thursday, he suggested to take some time to let the medicine work and to think about choices.Emotions and thoughts are all over the place. If the choice is to have a better quality of life, are we giving up hope?
As I was reading bible stories to the girls last week, they were all healing/miracles of Jesus. I just kept thinking, if I only knew where Jesus was preaching. We could lower her on a mat, we could just let her touch his garment, we could just be in HIS presence. I just want to help her, make it all go away, and return to life as it was a year ago. Thank you for listening to us. As we are in the midst of this journey, we hope that by our actions, words, and works that God is glorified.
The better news is that mom is "feeling" better. She still has some pain. She tires easily. She is able to eat small amounts and keep it down.
We love you all and continue to be blessed by your comforting words.
Love, Kurt and Jenn

Just a brief update. Mom and Dad came home today. She is tucked in in her own bed tonight. Yesterday and today she crossed a couple of milestones (those tasks the doctors check off to see if you are able to go home). She has kept food down for a couple of days. She walked a little bit on her own. So, the the pharmacist sat them down and sent them home with instructions.
Tomorrow is the appointment with Dr. Rose, yep back to Madison we shall go!! After the meeting with Dr. Rose, I'm sure there will be things to share with you all. Once again, we thank you all so much!!
Good night to all,
Kurt and Jenn

Dear loved ones,
Since I last posted, mom has remained in the UW of Madison Hospital. The doctors have been regulating mom's pain meds and watching her responses. She was removed from IV morphine earlier in the week and pain patches have been added to the regiment. Some other bit of info that could be lifted up to our Heavenly Father is the concern of a blood clot in her left leg. She will be sent home with instructions for 1 injection per day (I am sure the medically wise folks know what the drug is called, but sorry I just don't). It could take 6 months for the clot to totally break down, which many of you know about this situation as you have endured this before.
Other news from the snow covered tundra..... It is possible that they are coming home tomorrow...is she ready??? There are some concerns, but we will move forward and continue to trust our Lord and be comforted by His presence.
Many of you have asked if there is anything you could do for us, we just ask that you continue to pray, keep in touch, and hug us! It is such a blessing to know that the Lord's army is ready and waiting and will rise up, hold on to us, and encourage us through this journey!! Bless you all!! We also pray for you!!! We are thankful for you! We know this is tough for so many, but continue to raise your voices to God, praise Him for HIS Almighty presence, and HIS goodness!!
We love you all....just one more blessing...NO SCHOOL again!!!
Love, Kurt and Jenn

Mom and Dad send greetings from Madison with pleasant smiles on their faces. Kurt, Mia, Livi, and I had a wonderful visit with dad and mom today in Madison. Mom looks so much better. She is receiving morphine and fluids intravenously. She was able to drink water and eat some delicious muffins and KEEP it down!!! We also enjoyed the company of some dear friends and phone calls from more. The doctor said they would keep mom for a few more days and regulate the morphine intravenously until she was rarely pushing the button. Then when they switch over to oral medication, they will continue to keep her for monitoring.
Much love, Kurt and Jenn

Dear family and friends,
We would just like to give you a quick update on Mom's condition. Mom and Dad's week was very weary. After returning home from an overnight stay at the UW hospital last Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning seemed to be heading in the right direction with pain meds and nausea under control. But, Sunday evening pain was returning and so did the nausea. Wednesday anti-nausea meds were upped. Mom spent all week in bed and couldn't keep anything down. Dad was by her side of course every step of the way and very concerned about dehydration.
This morning we put a call into Madison and she has been admitted to the UW hospital to get fluids and meds intravenously.
We are so very blessed to be surrounded by all of you during this time. Thank you dear ones for traveling this journey with us!!
Love, Kurt and Jenn

Hi...just another quick note. I'm being admitted this afternoon to the hospital in Madison. Hopefully we can get this pain under control - and not come out a zombie!!!

Don's going to be spending the night, assuming they keep me today (I am not scheduled to be there until 1:00 p.m. mostly because of the travel time) and we'll see what comes of tomorrow.

Talk with you later...
Love,
Deb

Good morning...it's Thursday morning and I've just spoken with the Madison nurses and this is what they've come up with...we'll try one more pain/nausea medication today and if there isn't noticeable improvement today/tonight, they will admit me tomorrow to the hospital in Madison to see if they can't figure out what's going on. The PA said there is only so much they can figure out over the phone - and we agree. Thank you for your prayers on our behalf - mostly Don's...he's exhausted and just about at wit's end with all this. We all kind of are, aren't we?

Thanks for your love and prayers...
Don & Deb

Hi! Not writing much these days...I'm most uncomfortable with tailbone pain...in bed is the most comfortable as I cannot even sit anymore. I've called the docs and they've increased some of the meds...hope it helps.

Love to all,
Deb

Hi! I just wanted to say "hello" and let you know that the pain has subsided mostly and I am enjoying getting out and about, though Don still isn't letting me drive (with the drugs I'm on it's probably the smart thing to do). Something I'm taking makes me do & say weird things. I've shared some of those with you and we just laugh! Last evening I'd fallen asleep in the chair while watching TV. I woke up - and I know I was awake - but I kept trying to give Don the coupon I had for Ken's salad dressing. It's $1 off and I thought he needed it. Bless his heart, he kept saying, "but why do I need it?" I kept telling him he liked it and the coupon would be useful. It was about 10:00 at night and he had no intentions of grocery shopping then - besides, in my right mind, the coupon was for Jenn. I thought Don was Jenn!! It wasn't until the next day that I realized what I had done & said. Oh, boy! Don just smiles and we laugh, laugh, laugh!

I just want to put this before you as a prayer request. I do not see our doctors until the beginning of February, so that means I have a little time off from the treatments. We are considering getting a second opinion in the interim. It's not that we don't trust our docs in Madison because we do beyond a shadow of a doubt. We're not sure what to do so we're doing the best we can right now - sitting on the fence! We're not sure a second opinion is necessary at all. It may cause more harm than good. That's why we need to pray about it. Thank you.

Have a great day - honor our Lord with all that you do.
Love,
Deb

Hi there...just wanted to write and tell you how wonderful I feel! The pain is probably 95% gone and what a difference it makes!!! I'm taking pills just about every couple of hours or so, though I've arranged them to have a little more time between dosages during the night. Works well. Still having the "unusual" arm & leg movements - Don said the other day on our way up to Madison, when I had fallen asleep, that I was directing an orchestra!! He just gently laid his arm over mine to keep them a bit quite so I can rest. It's hard to rest directing an orchestra!!

I cannot tell you the number of ways that Don has made life as comfortable as can be. My heart is overwhelmed with love and gratitude to God for placing Don in my life so many years ago. Don has cared & tended to the "nth" degree for me - spoiling me, to be sure.

Have a great weekend...
Love,
Deb

Hello hello! Just got back from Madison and all is good with the pain meds, except that he is adding Ibuprofen to the mix hoping to relieve the "bladder" pain or whatever it is. I've taken a dose already and things seem improved. We shall see.

Take care...
Love,
Deb

Good morning! Don & I are headed to Madison for a consult with the pain doctor. When we were there last week and he changed up all the meds, he wanted to take a week to see what was working, what wasn't, etc., etc.


The pain is about 90% gone!!! Amen!! The other 10%, though, is causing quite the problem. I cannot stand on my feet for more than three to four minutes, thereabouts. So we'll see what he has to say.


Life has been interesting on more morphine...when I'm awake, I have no problems with all the drugs. But when I go to sleep, that's when "stuff" happens and it's usually the middle of the night, though these have been known to happen anytime I fall asleep!! I've asked Don to water the refrigerator, I "lose" things in the bed and spend many minutes trying to find them - lost a tube of toothpaste in bed one night (I was shaking out the sheets to look for it) and I continue to lose little scraps of paper in the night (again shaking the sheets to find them), but my fingers don't work so good and picking up the scraps is a problem (in my dreams). I talk out loud, I push grocery carts, thought his arm was a log one night and tried to throw it back into the river...

Don says my arms and legs are moving a lot in the night - most nights. This one particular night the restless stuff was pretty bad so Don threw his leg over my legs and his arm over my arms to see if that might help quiet me down. It worked for a little while, but then I was hunting for something else. We'll see what the doctor says today!

Don is most patient and kind - we are just enjoying one another to the max. He works in the kitchen now. He prepared most of our Christmas Eve food. Please keep him in your prayers.

Well, off we go...I'll write more later when we get home from the doc's office.

Love you,
Deb