Hallelu, hallelu, hallelu, HALLELUJAH!!!!!!!!! Praise ye the Lord!!!

The pain has subsided tremendously - even went for supper with my folks tonight...Don had to work :( ... It is absolutely wonderful to be so pain free. Don is so very much relieved - I can see it on his face. His cute little bearded face!!! There are some bladder issues that we are trying to work through that give a bit of pain - can't stand more than a second or two, walking is a problem, though not as painful as just standing. BUT - the big overall pain is gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am so, so, glad. Thank you, God - thank you, God!!! Thank you God.

After we got home the other night from the doctor's visit and we had found out that things were not as good as we had hoped, Don & I were just sitting quietly when two dear, sweet loved ones came by with burgers and frostys from Wendy's. What a blessing they were to come by. When they came in I was sitting in my rocker, so they came over to give hugs. Jill gave a hug first, then Kent gave me a hug - and that's when IT happened.

I've contemplated what this might be like for some time - what would I do?, how would I react?, what would the other person do? Well - what happened? Ha! My wig came off completely. It fell down behind my back in the rocker. Oh, my!! I've always been concerned about the shock factor from other folks in seeing a bald person without warning. Kent & Jill were fantastic. Kent said he wouldn't look (it didn't bother me for them to see my bald-headed, though I do get concerned for those seeing my baldness) and I'm trying to get it back on while I'm laughing so hard and I can't find the tag that tells me front from back. I get Thelma Lou on and Don is cracking up - I have it on upside down!! Two more tries and Don keeps saying "it's on backwards". Oh my!! Finally got her on straight and everyone settles in - what hysteria!!!

Then there's thanks to God for providing some comic relief in all of this...what a sense of humor God must have. We enjoyed the escapade - and just chuckle now and again thinking of it.

Take care as we enter a new year...hardly seems possible.

God's grace & mercy to you all..
Love,
Don & Deb

Hello...just returned from our visit to Madison. We saw Dr. Rose, my oncologist, to get results from last week's CT scan. We also saw Dr. Cleary, my pain doctor, to see how we're going to overcome this pain.

First - Dr. Rose. The results from the CT scan were a bit "not good" (forgive my English). The tumors in my lungs are growing and there are more of them. All in perspective, though. Dr. Rose showed me the CT scan itself because he wants us to understand what he sees and put it all in the proper perspective (as a way of finding some good out of all this, I'm sure!). The tumors are small in comparison to the overall size of the lungs. It's like looking at the night sky and seeing the stars. Some "stars" are tumors; some are not. He said some folks have lots of tumors; I do not. But the ones I do have are growing. The tumors in the pelvic region are not growing - they are stable; as are the lymph nodes in the pelvic region. All stable. That is fabulous. Great news there...but that is where all the pain is. Just can't figure it out. Anyway, the tumor growth in the lungs disqualifies me from continuing in the clinical study. The current chemo will end - no treatment today.

It appears I have 3 options: One is to find another chemo to try. Dr. Rose says that by the time a person gets to this point in treatment, finding another chemo to work is slim to none - about 10-15% chance that any other chemo will work. He said any "magic bullets" (not the food processor thing from QVC) are used right away, not saved up for later. Another option is to stop chemo all together, find something to do with this pain and live my merry life. The third option - and the one we chose - is to stop chemo for a time, aggressively deal with the pain to get it under control, then in a month or so, continue on with chemo (still with the same 10-15% chance of working). Dr. Rose said that this cancer, after months of watching, seems to be a slow-growing cancer and putting off chemo for a time will probably not do any further harm. Probably not. No one knows, for sure, this side of heaven, do they? Of course not!!

We are disheartened, to say the least. Don said something today about being put through the ringer - I guess so!

Then we saw the pain doctor. He is throwing the whole box of candy at me for this one. I'm taking everything to the max - the Neurontin, the morphine, the compazine, the Zofran, the motion-sickness patch, and anything else I have that I cannot think of. By the time we meet together for church on Sunday morning, I may be a complete zombie!!! Maybe not - maybe I'll be pain-free and thrilled!!!! We go back to Cleary next Tuesday for evaluation and adjustments. Something has to work - nothing is so far, not completely anyway. I'm not sleeping much, not eating much (lost another 8 pounds since Dec. 7th - yipee!!!) and generally physically done in, just about.

Believe it or not, all in all, our spirits are good. Don is struggling and beside himself simply because he does not know how else to help me. The pain thing has taken its toll on us both and he's ready for some relief. His nerves are shot!! But our spirits are good. God has blessed us with wonderful family and delightful friends and church family - all of which are a huge blessing. He has blessed us with peace that passes understanding time and time again. We are grateful for His care.

Thank you for holding us up in prayer today - we feel the calm and quiet of the Holy Spirit, we feel the love of our Father gently carrying us, we know, beyond feelings, that we are loved and cared for. God will not leave us or forsake us, even though days seem uncertain. God is NOT uncertain, the days may be, but God is not.

Love you, each one...
Don & Deb

Morning! The CT scan went well yesterday - and that's all we did! We were home in no time, it seemed like. We won't get the results until next week when I go for treatment.

Have a great day...we're celebrating today with Kurt, Jenn, and the girls. Mia and Livi will spend the night tonight and after Dad & Mom leave, we'll travel around to look at the lights. They really enjoy that. There's one here in Rockford that is quite the display - timed to music and all. That's one of our favorites, though it's on a rather busy street and parking is a challenge. Not quite as involved as a drive-in movie, but on the same order - we pull over, maybe we'll have snacks this year, tune in the radio and enjoy. Last year we sat for about 15 minutes and still hadn't seen it all. We'll see this year.

Merry Christmas, with love...
Don & Deb

Dear loved ones...merriest of Christmas' to you this year! We had a wonderful celebration with my Grandmother's side of the family last weekend (or maybe 2 weekends ago now...how time flies!). Grandma (Noni) turned 101 this past week - wow! I don't think I've ever known anyone that's lived that long, not in recent memory anyway. Oh, but we had fun with cousins, etc., that we just don't see very often, wonderful food (way too much, of course) and the children played well, the organization of the whole thing was just wonderful - thank you, Becky & Judy. We had a wonderful time - and the snow outside just added to the festivities (in more ways than one!).

And the celebrations of Christ's birth just go on and on...looking forward to our annual Christmas Eve service at church. A time of great joy, to be sure. We will get together with a little of Don's family on Christmas Eve (our big celebration is always New Year's Day) and then we'll gather with my family out at Dad & Mom's on Christmas Day.

Hope that whatever you do, whether you gather with family or have a quiet celebration - whatever - that it is filled with hope in our Savior, thanks for His coming, and praise to our Father for His wonderful plan.

The last couple of weeks have had their challenges...medicine for pain isn't working well, tummy turbulence and the like have just come to camp at our home and it's made for challenging times. Tomorrow is the CT scan in Madison and we won't know of the results until next week. I also begin another round of treatment tomorrow. The schedule is off a bit because of the holiday, but that's OK...we just roll with it.

Much love to you and yours...again, focus on the important - the Savior that was born and your response to that gift - and let the rest fall where it may!!

Love you...and Merry Christmas!
Don & Deb

Good morning...we had a great trip to and from Madison, as well as a good visit with Dr. Clearly and his "fellow" (more than a "resident", I believe??). Don and I just enjoy each other and being in the car together (though I fall asleep sometimes!). We had cheeseball and crackers along the way, Christmas music playing, and we just went zippity-do-dah down the road.

We spent about 1 1/2 hours with the doctors yesterday and we are going to try some new things. I'll try a new drug (new for me) from a different "family" to see if that helps the pain without the side effects that I have with the morphine. The doctor also suggested ginger for the nausea, etc. He asked if I have problems with motion sickness (is there water in the ocean????) because he said he has lots of trouble with motion and cannot take morphine, either, without the nasty side effects. He takes lots of ginger like you'd find in the health food store (not in the spice aisle, though it's the same, I think). So off on another adventure - to the health food store. He's also prescribed a little physical therapy thinking that it might be muscle-related and could possible benefit from stretches, etc. ("torture" is what I'm thinking!!). He was very kind, asked lots and lots of questions and seemed knowledgeable without being a "know it all" or just tossing out textbook ideas. He is from Australia and has a thick accent, so we had to pay very close attention not to miss a thing.

So, we'll try some things and see. All in all, I'm doing really well...I've got the morphine, etc. down pat pretty much and know that I can take it 2x each day, so if I have things going that day, I can time it to help when needed most. The heating pad works wonderful, too.

Make it a great day...the Lord is kind and gracious and we thank Him for providing wonderful care-givers along our path. Thank you for your prayers on our behalf and that of our families.

Love,
Don & Deb

Good afternoon...it's a bright, sunny day - cool and clear. I was out running some errands and it was warm and cozy with the sun on my face and the heater on full-blast in the car! A little mocha-java-latte or whatever would have been the frosting on the cake.

We are making a quick trip to Madison tomorrow to see a pain oncologist. My regular oncologist in Madison just isn't sure what else to do with me, so we'll see the specialist and hope that he can offer some wise counsel. I've been keeping track a bit of the pain to try to narrow down the who-what-where-when-how of it all. It doesn't seem to be "chemo"-related...it does not go away when I've got a week or two off (as do other aches/pains). It doesn't seem to be tumor-related (at least according to the latest CT scan). There are some consistencies, though, and perhaps those will point us in the right direction.

I'm also scheduled for another CT on Dec. 22 to see how much progress with treatment we've made since last time. Last CT showed the tumors in my lungs were shrinking - and we are hoping that this upcoming CT will show even more "shrinkage". I wasn't expecting good news last time - I am excited about this next one and am looking for more good news.

Don & I are enjoying the sounds of the season - we have music playing a lot these days. Music has such a marvelous way of soothing, of comforting, of challenging, of reinforcing Biblical truth and can be just plain entertaining! (I was doing dishes the other morning singing away when I realized Don was just standing and listening to me. I do not have a "singing" voice at all, but we were having fun!!) And the harmonies of the songs we enjoy are just beautiful. We listen to a variety of styles with our Christmas music - jazz, gospel, quartet, "loud & bangy", instrumental - we even have a Beach Boys Christmas cd!!

One of the traditions that our family started years and years ago - and we continue to this day - is a "fondue" night when we put up our tree. This year was a bit different as we "fondued" a night or two after putting up the tree. We get small cans of sterno out and lots of things that go on a skewer or can be eaten with crackers or fingers...little Cheddar smokies, chunks of cheese, chunks of steak that has been cooked "rare" just prior to our meal, a couple of kinds of cheese balls, veggies & dip, smoked salmon & cream cheese, pickled herring - just fun stuff. We have eggnog first, then a time of thanks to God...thanking Him for a wonderful year and trusting Him for the year to come (more on that in a minute), then we "fondue" while watching White Christmas or some other favorite Christmas movie and our evening wraps up with chocolate fondue, fresh berries, pound cake, and the like. You probably have special times that you treasure with your family and we hope you enjoy the moments and memories of those times.

Yes, we've given God thanks for the past year. Just thinking - one year ago we were getting ready to celebrate my grandmother's 100th birthday (she'll be turning 101 in a couple of weeks and still going along!!) and also getting ready for our niece's wedding...and cancer wasn't a part of the picture at all. That we knew of anyway. We know differently now - but looking back over how our lives have changed since last Christmas - wow! Perhaps you've experienced change of grand proportions, too...a loved one has "gone on", perhaps you've received the news of a job change or loss, a diagnosis that just takes your breath away. Yes, I understand that. This I know...and can say with calm assurance from walking this road...God is still God and His plan for our salvation is the same. His Son came to earth as a tiny babe, grew to be a man that learned obedience - obedience that took Him to the cross. Fully man, fully God, Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. For that we give God praise. You see, trusting God with my life - and my "forever" - brings such peace and calm. There is no fear in tomorrow - no fear. God has cared for me up to this point, He is faithful and true and will continue to care for me from this life into the next. I can hardly wait for "eternity" but for the loved ones I treasure so here on earth!!

Priceless memories these days are...may God bless your day today!
Love,
Deb

IT'S SNOWING!!! Just a little - but it's snowing!!! What a marvelous sight! King David starts out the 51st psalm with these words..."Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your unfailing love; according to Your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin." And then a little further down, in verse 7, David says, "wash me, and I will be whiter than snow."

I'm always reminded of the purity, the freshness, the way new fallen snow can cover the dirtiest old pile and make it look new again...and God's compassion and forgiveness when we come with repentant and contrite hearts, as David did after his broo-ha-ha with Bathsheba. Actually, the Bible calls it "sin"! Thank you, God, for the precious reminder of Your mercy in such a practical way - snow!!

Have a great day...hope it's snowing where you are...
Love,
Don & Deb

Hello! Oh, how I just cringe when I realize that it's been several days since we've "chatted". I miss chatting with you - so many of you come to mind while I'm typing and I want to ask...Peter, how's the neck/back coming along?...Fonda - how's the pain?...and so on and so on. Things have been so "up and down" with how I'm feeling that I dislike having to keep saying "today I'm fine" or "not so good today"...but that's just how it is. Having said that, one of my desires with this blog-thing is that it be so much more than how I'm feeling. There is just way more to life than that...however, one of the things I have discovered is that when the pain and discomfort come in to roost for awhile, they sort of takeover everything. It is most difficult to lay aside the physical pain, though I will tell you I have not suffered pain like others of you have. Mine just throws me for a loop and I have a hard time getting around and through it. The drugs work for awhile, then not so much...I lay off of them, then the pain comes and we're in this predictable cycle over and over again.

I began another cycle of treatment last Friday and saw the doctor also. He is sending me on to a pain oncologist (I think that's what he's called anyway). He/she is a doctor that deals with pain in cancer patients...a little bit more focused than a pain-management doctor. Perhaps we can get things figured out through him/her. My doctor just said he's at a loss as to what other meds to try...I've run the "normal" range of meds. Problem is that while some of them help with the pain, I have a very low threshold for the side-effects and it is the side-effects that seem to swamp my boat these days.

We have decorated our home for the holidays and many of the items we put out have such fond memories of precious family and friends and good times gone by. If I could just leave you with one thought this season, it would be this...that each of us focus on what's really important and it's a "who" not a "what"...Jesus Christ. May He be honored by the lives we live and the faithfulness to His purposes this season...God bless you!

Love you, each one...
Don & Deb

Hello...and Happy Thanksgiving!
We have much to be thankful to God for...let me start with my folks. Perhaps you've heard about the tornado that came through this area yesterday? Well, it took a similar path that the tornado of January '08 took...right across Hwy. 173 and towards my folks' home. They were struck badly in '08 and have been struck again! This time Dad's workshop imploded (as it did last time), limbs are down, fascia off the house...and like Mom said, "what are the chances?"!! The good news is that they are just fine, in fact, they were here at our house when the tornado came through. Now it's a matter of cleaning up...again! They are strong people and will do just fine, but the clean up gets wearisome...and then there's the rebuilding. Thank you for the prayers on their behalf.

The pain has returned in my back/abdominal area and the Tylenol isn't working. The doctor has switched it up for morphine, but I'm having trouble keeping it down. I am concerned about the morphine...I have an image in my mind of sorts that the morphine, for the cancer patient, only comes with end-of-life care/Hospice care. I know that LOTS of folks take morphine and it helps, but that's where my mind goes. I know - I'm being ridiculous. So I'm concentrating on things to be thankful for. I go through the alphabet and remind myself, with every letter, how thankful to God I am for...answers to prayer, blessings of family & friends, church family...well, you get the idea. I even name specific people from A-Z! Wow!! What blessings!!

Blessings to you and your family this Thanksgiving and continuing holiday season. I know it's a little early, but isn't Christmas music just such a treat!! Don starts playing our Christmas music in September!!

Love you, one and all...
Don & Deb

Good morning! This is my week off from treatment. Glad for the break this week. With the exception of a day or two, the pain has subsided and we've had a really good week. It has felt good to be up and around and busy.

With Thanksgiving around the corner, here's an old but simple and delicious recipe for stuffing that we had the other night at church. Enjoy!

Bread Stuffing
3/4 c. onion, chopped
1 1/2 c. celery, chopped
1 c. butter
9 c. bread cubes
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 1/2 tsp. sage
1 tsp. thyme
Turkey stock (packaged)

Melt butter and saute onion & celery until tender. Add seasonings to mixture; pour over 1/2 of the bread cubes in large bowl. Stir to combine and add remaining bread cubes. Add turkey stock to moisten, about 1/2 to 3/4 c. (Can be made ahead and refrigerated at this point until ready to bake.) Place in crock pot (I use those nifty crock pot liners to help with clean up!!) and cook about 3-4 hours on low. Can be baked in the oven, too...cover and bake at 350* for about 1 hour.

Have a great weekend...
Love,
Deb

Ha!! What a relief!! I had a totally pain-free night last night for the first time in weeks! Amen and Amen!! The last few days have just been miserable - I paced the floor for over an hour the night before last and nothing was helping...but last night was wonderful!! Don used the electric back massager on my back, I took Tylenol regularly - such simple stuff!! We had a little bite to eat, watched a bit of TV, then went to bed, waking only in time to take more Tylenol (amazing to wake up every 4 hours, right on time!). We must just be way over-thinking this pain thing and skipped over the simpler way to go...perhaps this will take care of the problem for good.

Thank you, God, for the relief...the praise belongs to You!!

Love,
Deb

Good afternoon...up and back from Madison today. I had treatment and then a couple of x-rays for the pain in my back. Nothing showed - which is very good, but doesn't help much with the pain. Our "PA" (Physician's Assistant) said it's probably one of two things...the pain is either just a simple old backache thing or the lymph nodes are pressing on the tailbone area. Nothing much to do in either case, but hoping that the chemo will begin to shrink the lymph nodes and thus take the pressure off the tailbone (if it's the later situation...which we both think it is.)

Take care...have a great weekend...
Love,
Deb

Hello! We have rounded a corner and none too soon! I am feeling better, sleeping a bit better, and just rising up out of the "grouchies"!! I've been mindful of the things I am learning here along this journey...patience, compassion - things like that...and I must be a slow learner but some of these things take time and perseverance to grow and produce. I'm reminding myself that God's ways are NOT our ways, His thoughts are not OUR thoughts (Isaiah 55:8). His ways are infinitely higher than mine...so I'm trusting in His care. Difficult at times when the pain overwhelms, but we carry on, don't we?!

Little Miss Liviana Grace came to spend some time with Grandma yesterday...and Grandpa when he came home from work. What fun! Thought I'd share one of our pictures with you...tis the season!

Have a great day...

Love,

Deb

Hello! Yesterday was "treatment" day and all went well with the treatment. I'm thankful for that. No surprises and that's a good thing!

These last 7 weeks have been quite the challenge. I have just not been feeling good. Yes, there are times when there's some relief and those have been a welcome respite. I do think, finally, we have rounded a corner, so to speak, and perhaps am on the upswing. My abdominal/back pain seems to be lightening up and I am cautiously optimistic...I only say that because I've thought several times over the past few weeks that things were improving and then we headed downhill.

I'm sorry - I'm just not feeling very chatty today and probably don't sound very positive, either. I know lots of you live with pain and discomfort on a daily basis - and have for quite some time. I don't think I have, for the most part, so when I get like this and the pain/discomfort interfere with regular life, it's a challenge. One that I don't seem to be mastering.

Tomorrow we'll worship together with precious family & friends and THAT will bring peace and comfort to my weary soul. And I hope that our worship will be a blessing to the God we worship!

Love to each one,
Deb

Just a quick note of relief before we turn in for the night. This has been a most-complex day! It was a wonderful day of celebration with Don's family - just wonderful. The afternoon was the worst in memory - awful, awful, just awful...and now we are way on the "upswing" and feeling so much better. Whew. What a day!

I have said out loud several times today...thank you, God...thank you, God...thank you, God...for a wonderful husband who has been called upon to do things he never thought he'd face, for a step in the right direction to feeling better, for simple "relief" (not too much simple about it today!)...but mostly for the confidence in Christ to face each and every day, come what may, with strength and courage, not of my own to be sure!

Good night...and again, thank you, God.

Love,
Don & Deb

Morning...I had treatment in Madison yesterday and also got to chat with the doctor again. There are two issues that have been on my mind and we were looking forward to meeting with the doctor to get them settled.



One issue was the CT scan from last week and the great results. Yes, the tumors are showing "significant" decrease - but I wanted to know exactly what does that mean? Does that mean I am in remission? (He said "no") Well, then, exactly what are we talking in the whole scope of things? He said it is a "step in the right direction" that we hope continues. I am by no means "out of the woods". He mentioned the study being a 6-round study but that he hoped, as long as I was showing progress, that I could continue longer than that. I hope so, too. It was a little more sobering than last weeks all-out good news, but encouraging for sure. We are headed in the right direction. That's enough for now - it certainly is way better news than we've had any other time during this "thing"!!!!!



The other issue - the abdominal/back pain. Ha! Batten down the hatches!! Katie, bar the door!! I'm constipated!! Not again!!!!!!!! I know - you're thinking that this woman doesn't know a thing if she doesn't even know when she's, well, you know. I'm telling you - I don't have trouble in this area and believe I am the one who would know!!!! But the problem isn't "lower", it is the entire mid-section of my abdomen and he said it's "massive". We came to this discovery because nothing "cancer" in this area showed up on the CT scan. His only course of action, now, was to send me to a GI man for tests. Ugh. He kept asking, though, are you sure you're not "c". Well, I guess I'm sure, but would the CT scan if I was? Yes, probably, but maybe not - but he looked it up anyway. Don could see his face - I could not. Don said his eyes brightened when he pulled the scan up - and I think he chuckled, though he wouldn't dare at this point! That's when he said it's a massive and wondered how the CT readers could miss it, except they were looking for cancer not the other "c" word. That concerned me a bit, that this would be so obvious, when you're looking for it, but you could pass it up if you weren't? There's a life lesson there!!

Anyway...I'm taking something for this issue and hope for good results here soon. I could write an entire book on this issue - the humor is just begging to be told. It's rather like waiting for labor pains to bring the baby!! And Don - bless his heart - I can't walk by the bathroom without him asking "anything yet?" Oh, what life has brought us to. Oh, and by the way - I went into the drugstore for my own stuff this time (Don came along, though) and he said when we got back into the car that now that he knows what he's looking for, he can buy it next time! No disguise or anything!! Isn't love grand???

Pressing on...
Don & Deb

Dear loved ones,
Thank you for the comments, the phone calls - just the encouragement whether from far or near. Thank you for giving God the glory and praise - it all lays at His feet.

We had a good night and the wonderful news is sinking in little by little. So mindful that the praise belongs to God for this time.

Love to all,
Don & Deb

Dear family, loved ones...prayer warriors...
It's marvelous, wonderful news!!! The CT scan showed, according to our new doctor we saw today, that there is "significant reduction" in the tumors in my lungs. His words - significant!!! He went on to say that he could see NO lesions/tumors in my lungs, but would confer with Dr. Rose to see actually what Dr. Rose sees then compared to now. The tumor in the pelvic region is "stable" and we will take that as good news, too!! Our hearts simply overflow with joy and thanksgiving to God for this turn of events. We were not expecting good news this time at all.

I'm sorry for the delay in writing to you, but we hit a little bump in the road in our celebration today...I started throwing up (sorry for the not-so-pretty-picture) about 8:30 this morning and have just now (6:30) have been able to get out of bed and stand on 2 feet (my own). Pour Don - he has gotten a lifetime full of stuff today, but he has stood beside me every step of the way. I was released from the hospital around 3:00 (no chemo treatment today because of the vomiting - next Friday we'll continue).

We will jump for joy when I can jump and keep my tummy from continuing to jump...but our hearts are just overwhelmed with gratefulness. We are humbled by God's kindness. Thank you, Father...thank you!!!!

Thank YOU, dear prayer warriors, for you prayers on our behalf. Thank you.

With much love and thanks,
Don & Deb

Good morning - and a good morning it is. Seems the stronger pain med is taking the edge off of the pain, so I don't think we'll need to go early to Madison. I slept well and still seem to have somewhat of a sound mind this morning!

It is of great comfort to know that we can share not just the good, but also the difficult with you, our family & loved ones. Great comfort. It is of even greater comfort to know that you share them with our Father in heaven...thank you.

Love,
Don & Deb

Hi there...it's Tuesday night and I just wanted to let you know that the pain I thought I was managing is beginning to manage me. I've had some abdominal & back pain since just before the last dr.'s visit a couple of weeks ago, but we agreed that it was most manageable and we'd wait until the scheduled CT scan this coming Friday. The pain isn't really more intense, it just doesn't ever go away as it did a couple of weeks ago. The last few days have been very trying and I've tried most everything I could think of...happy pills, heating pad, over-the-counter meds, even baking soda & water...I've tried walking around, sleeping in a chair, but nothing seemed to bring relief for very long. so I gave in and called Madison to see what we can do to get me to Friday. They wanted me to come to the ER there, but we agreed, instead, on a little stronger pain med to see first if that might work. It seems to be working a little as I feel a bit "out of it" right now. Hope what I'm saying makes some sense!! Something isn't quite right to be causing this problem now, but we just don't know what it is.

Thanks for your prayers...for Don as he is handling things here at home while I'm just trying to handle me. He is a hearty soul, but the anxiousness gets the best of us at times. We are trying to maintain our schedule "as usual" because we want to stay "normal" as best we can - whatever "normal" is!!

Thank you...and good night.
Love,
Don & Deb

Good morning! It's such a beautiful, bright, and crisp morning out this morning - a wonderful fall day. Don said he hopes to rake up a few leaves and mow the grass one last time this year - at least he's thinking it will be the last time!

This is our week "off" from chemo. My legs are doing better...I'm not taking any of the "happy pills" anymore. Our next appointment on the 22nd is the full deal...CT scan, doctor's visit and then, hopefully, chemo. That will depend on what the CT scan shows and what the doctor's advice is. The CT scan is prescribed by the clinical trial to mark the progress of the chemo activity - is it working or not? But the doctor will use the results to make a recommendation to either continue or not. We shall see.

Enjoyed the latest "vegan" class last Thursday night. It was the best yet, I think. One of the recipes I will hope to make often - and I would even make it a "catering" recipe because it was really good! Very simple, too. They were called "Veggies in a Blanket" I think (I don't have the book in front of me, so I'm going by memory...!) and you take a tortilla (our teacher used something whole wheat, I think) and spread it with hummus ("hum" - like singing). She used "purchased" hummus and it was red pepper hummus with a dollop of pureed red pepper in the middle. She just stirred it all together in the little container it came in before spreading some on the tortilla, covering the entire tortilla using about 2 T. of hummus, depending of course on the size of your tortilla. Then down the middle close to one end, she made of row of fresh chopped greens - hers that night were romaine, fresh basil, and some other green that I can't remember, but it wouldn't matter what you used - just some chopped up greens, about 1/2 cup or so. Then she sprinkled grated carrots (about 1T.) on top of the greens and the same amount of chopped red pepper on top of that. She rolled it up tight and cut them into 4 pieces. That is it. It is a very "forgiving" recipe in that you can use any combination of greens and herbs or veggies on top to your liking. The hummus made it very tasty. Would even make a great combo with a bowl of soup!

Take care...and enjoy the beauty of God's creation today (and every day!)...
Love,
Deb

Oh, I can't believe it's been almost a week since we've "chatted"! It has been a rather trying week. I want to share with you the news that our son-in-law's father passed away on Friday. Kurt's dad, Dave, has been sick for quite some time and most recently was to be on dialysis and had a myriad of other health issues that complicated that. Though he'd been sick for quite some time, he collapsed unexpectedly Thursday evening and didn't regain consciousness. Of course, Kurt is awfully young to be dealing with the death of his father, but Dave was always, always, ALWAYS talking about how he was ready to "go home" to heaven. Always! We thank God for His promise of eternity for His faithful and obedient followers. Services will be held later this week. Please keep Kurt and Jenn and their family, Kurt's mom, Judy, and his sisters and their families in your prayers as they walk this road.

Treatment went well last Friday...same old, same old...legs hurt...blah, blah, blah. It's just been a difficult week all around. Hoping that this week, with the week "off" from chemo, the discomfort will level off a bit.

I do have a couple of recipes to share with you. Don's family does a "turkey day in the park" kind of thing this time of year. Family & friends gather at a park, cook turkeys on the grill and enjoy the out of doors. (This year it was 90* outside! Go figure!!!) Here's a sweet potato recipe that was there for lunch and you might find it just right for the holidays ahead. It's a recipe from a dear friend, Peggy Morley, and we've made it for lots of holidays since she's shared it in one of our church cookbooks. The other recipe is from the vegan class - and you will think "no way", but it was pretty good. I would make this...not everyone would it eat like the other sweet potato recipe, but it was good, I thought. Have fun with them both!!

Sweet Potato Casserole
1 c. granulated sugar (yes...1 cup!)
1/2 tsp. salt
2 eggs, slightly beaten
1/3 stick butter, melted (about 5 T.)
1/2 c. half & half (I used milk this last time...forget to get the half & half)
1 tsp. vanilla (I omitted this)
3 cups sweet potato chunks (I microwave fresh sweet potatoes for this...quick & easy!)
Optional: fresh cranberries - see note below

Topping
1/3 stick butter (about 5 T.)
1 c. brown sugar
1/3 c. flour
1 c. chopped pecans

Mix together the 1 c. granulated sugar, salt, eggs, melted butter, and half & half. Add sweet potatoes and pour into a 9-inch square baking pan. Mix topping ingredients together and sprinkle evenly on top of sweet potato mixture. Bake for 30-45 minutes at 375*.

Just a note here...try adding fresh cranberries with the sweet potato mixture. The cranberries add a tartness that is just right!

Zippy Yams & Collards
1 large bunch collard greens (Swiss chard was what we had), about 1 pound, rinsed & chopped
1/4 c. vegetable broth
1 onion, thinly sliced
2 large garlic cloves, minced
2 small yams or sweet potatoes, peeled & cut into bite-size pieces
1 T. Worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp. Thai chili paste, or to taste
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
2 T. freshly squeezed lemon juice

Remove tough stems from collards or Swiss chard and cut crosswise into thin strips. Set aside. Heat the vegetable broth in a skillet; add onion and garlic and cook until tender, about 10 minutes. Add the yams/sweet potatoes and additional broth to cover. Cover skillet and cook for 5 to 10 minutes, until the yams are soft when pierced with a fork. Remove the lid and simmer uncovered until about half of the liquid has boiled away. Stir in the collards/Swiss chard, Worcestershire sauce, and chili paste. Cook and stir until the greens are soft. Season with salt & pepper to taste. Sprinkle the lemon juice over all just before serving.

I know this sounds "weird", but the bitter greens and the "sweet" potatoes are a good combination...again, this was very good! Try it!

It's fall here in norther Illinois - trees are changing, the weather is changing...life changes, to be sure. One thing we know...our God does not change! He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. For Him, our un-changing God, we are grateful!

Love, peace, and grace to you...
Deb

Hi! Have you ever wondered what the purpose of nose hair is? I haven't much wondered, either. Until now. Don said the other night that I didn't have any nose hair. So I looked. He's right (not that I doubted him...he just got new glasses and perhaps he wasn't seeing everything). That got me to thinking exactly what do nose hairs do. They do plenty. They purify the air that you breathe - assuming you breathe through your nose. If you breathe through your mouth, your teeth may yellow quicker. Interesting. They also catch bacteria that shouldn't be in your body and do away with it (blowing your nose!). Well, now...such a tiny little part of our bodies...nose hair. But have you ever tried to pull one out? Nearly makes your eyeballs turn inside out!! Something so small, yet God has a purpose for them. Not to be gross, but think of all the "stuff" that could get into our bodies through our noses without the protection of nose hair there (never mind the "stuff" that sometimes ends up in somebody's nose even with nose hair...a remote control button and a seashell are just two of the things I've heard of!!)

Thank you, God, that You have designed our bodies to live on this earth, down to the smallest of details. You have given purpose & meaning and function to things that we don't give a thought to - most of the time. We give You praise for the ways in which You care for us and protect us by Your design and creation. We thank You so much!!

Have a great day, enjoying the clean air that you breathe thanks to your nose hairs!!

Love,
Deb

We are home from Madison - a little earlier than regular and that is good. Just had treatment today, nothing extra - no blood work (did that yesterday here in Rockford), no seeing any doctor, no other tests - just chemo. My doctor has given me some "happy pills" for my legs - the lowest dose and I only took 1/2 of 1/2 (I guess that makes it a quarter, doesn't it...see how "happy" I am!!) and my legs feel better. Finally some relief. Don is thrilled!

Love,
Deb

Morning! Just a quick note this morning before we head off to Madison. We had the "vegan" cooking class last night - oh, my. I know this is serious stuff for a lot of people, but drinking grasses? Really, now!! We had two different "green" drinks last night, "just for fun". They weren't really a part of the class - just an added bonus!! The one was 4 handfuls of spinach and one cup of frozen mango cubes whirled up in a blender. Not too terribly bad, considering what was to come. The second "drink" came near the end of class. It was a powder product and might not have been too bad until she mentioned it was "grasses" - like from your front lawn. She mixed it with orange juice - what an awful thing to do to oranges!!! It had "texture" which really was not good. Maybe they were dandelion bits (what lawn hasn't had a dandelion or two?)...

It is really, really hard not to crack up during class - but I'm trying to be "mature" about all this and not act like a junior high kid. It's fun to be with friends and try these new things!! Some of the food was good, I thought. She marinated portobello mushrooms and then steamed them, sort of. We were to pretend they were a hamburger. They were better if you just took them for what they were - mushrooms! She also made an "ambrosia" salad with pineapple tidbits, mandarin oranges, craisins and basmati rice. That was the best of the evening. Basmati rice is very good - try some if you haven't before. Oh - I think it was organic, too. We had something I'd never heard of - tempeh. It's fermented soy beans. I think you use it in place of meat...she mentioned making "bbq" with it. She did a stir-fry with it...that was good, too.

We went out for supper afterwards.

Love you,
Deb

Hello! The weeks seem to go by so fast anymore. It's Friday again already and we will head to Madison for treatment #2 in the second cycle. My legs have ached all week - no break this time, but we'll see what they have to say tomorrow.

This appears to be "no big deal" right now, but I have a "thing" on the back of my head - it's a "thing" I've had for years (and that's why me thinks it's "no big deal"). My oncologist would like it to be removed, so we've got an appt. w/dermatologist in Madison on Oct. 15 for biopsy (oh, goodie!) and procedure of some sort. The doc thinks it's nothing, too, but "to be on the safe side". I chuckled to myself - on the safe side? I have stage IVB cancer - where IS the safe side?

And a CT scan for chemo "progress" on the 22nd. Thank you for your prayers!

We've had more fun with this wig thing - who would have ever guessed the laughter it brings? On Sunday mornings, we try and leave about 7:30 for church. Sometimes it's 7:40 or so, but 7:30 is our goal. Last Sunday morning it was 7:15 and I was still in my jammies!!! So, I jumped in the shower, got dressed, plopped on Thelma Lou - and was sitting and waiting for Don to finish by 7:25!!!! He says he is now "king" of the bathroom. He can have it!

Little Livi, our 18-month old granddaughter, was over for a visit today. She was playing with stickers and she was putting them on my hair - but the stickers were kind of moving my hair around a little bit (I thought it might fall off, but it didn't...those stickers were sticky!) She had the funniest look on her face!

We are starting a new study in Sunday School class. We will be studying one book of the Bible each week - Old Testament this week, New Testament next week. (It seems a huge undertaking - one book each week? Some classes study an entire book for a year or two!!) This week we're starting with Genesis - the beginning, a good place to start. Reading through Genesis and seeing God's care for His people is mind-boggling. We're talking "His" people that were liars, deceivers, murders, selfish, and the list goes on - and yet God's grace and mercy shines through clear & bright. The whole time these people are on their sinful way, God is planning for their/our redemption. It seems they know it, too, because they loved God, worshipped Him, built altars to honor and adore Him, and obeyed Him, too. Build an ark, Noah? Sacrifice your son, Abraham? Be sold into slavery, Joseph? Yes, God required all of that and more from His people. Through their life stories I read about in the Bible, I can be encouraged, I can be spurred on, I can be faithful - and I can realize that God's plan and purpose for redemption includes me! How grateful and thankful I am!!

Love to all,
Debbie

Hi! Am I ever glad I did the wind test thing with "Thelma Lou" - today was "treatment day" in Madison and it was so windy you'd a thought we were downtown Chicago!! At one point, Don reached out his hand to secure TL - it was that windy!! I told him - have no worries, I've already tested the wind speed for this thing and I think we'll be fine. Never moved an inch - just looked windblown! Treatment went well, though long again as we saw the doctor today. The test to see how well the experimental chemo is going is set for Oct. 22.

And I am feeling good again - I've been bothered with pesky (or is it pesty?) abdominal discomfort for most of the week. Not nausea, more like a toothache. It's kept me up some at night (but thanks to pre-loaded Ipods from dear loved ones the nights have not been so long!) and I mentioned it to the doc today because Don said if I didn't, he would. It is a similar pain to what we started with just before diagnosis back in March - and we were both concerned that tumors were growing and pressing where they ought not. Dr. took another look at the latest CT (about 3 weeks old) and said nothing looked to be causing it - but would schedule another to be sure. Drugs, too, of course, might help the pain, but the drugs he thought would help the most would also cause other problems. We decided to stick with the pain we know rather than getting to know a new one! But the good news in all this is that just this afternoon it seems to be letting up. I'm looking forward to a marvelous night's sleep! Don says I just get real quiet when the pain increases - that's how he can tell what's going on. He's glad I'm talking again - who'd a thunk it????

God is good - all the time and I just pray that I can see His goodness despite the clouds on some days. My prayer for you, too!

Love and Godly eyesight...
Deb

Hi!
Hair's gone! It's done. It's over. I'm fine.

I came home and jumped in the shower to get rid of all the little pieces and wow! What a funny sensation on my head! That warm water running all over my bare head was strange - I started laughing in the shower.

Yesterday I drove out to my folks in a little bit of a storm. The wind was blowing - so I decided to do a little test. I opened both of the windows in the van, driving 55-60 mph - with "Thelma Lou" on my head to see how much wind the wig can handle. Quite a bit, I can tell you! It never moved an iota!! Good to know my limits!!

Love,
Deb

Good morning!
God tells us that even the hairs on our heads are all numbered (Matt. 10:30) and I'm here to tell you that I have about 2,000 fewer than I did a couple of weeks ago! It's amazing that so many can fall out and there's still some left! I woke up Sunday morning about 4:30 and realized my hair was coming out in wads, just wads of hair and I thought, well, this is the day that I can no longer try and make things work. So out came the scarf - no good. Out came a little cap I have - no good. Then I got out "Thelma Lou" (as Don calls her) and it was good! I felt very comfortable and rather excited, too, because I was now ready for church BEFORE Don!! The wig will take some getting used to...it kind of moves around a little bit. I told my Sunday School gals that it's kind of like your pantyhose rolling down only the opposite - the wig rolls up! We got into the car after church and I looked in the mirror (I know - vain, vain, vain!) and it had hooched back a little bit so I pulled it forward and Don said he'd noticed something wasn't right, but didn't know what. So we had a big discussion about signals, etc., to let me know when the thing isn't sitting just right. He said, too, that he'd walk behind me in a big wind storm in case the thing blows off. Oh boy. I am going Wednesday to have what's left on my head shaved off or at least trimmed way down. Those with cancer who have gone through this have said time and again "you'll know when the time is right" and the time is right. Hair is everywhere and enough already!

We would all agree that losing my hair is the least of my concerns. Yes, that is right. Our doctor says that I will be on chemo the rest of my life - if it works. Does that mean I won't ever have hair again? Can you imagine? It's a possibility, for sure. So, I'm going to get used to "Thelma Lou" and anytime you call and want to do breakfast or lunch, I'll be ready in a jiffy!!!

Love,
Deb

Good morning! It's a beautiful morning here in northern Illinois. Don calls these days "Grand Marais" days. Grand Marais is a beautiful little Lake Superior town on the northeastern edge of Minnesota and it's one of our favorite places to visit - if not the favorite. We've canoed in and out of Grand Marais several times, camped in their municipal campground, and even stayed in one of their little motels a time or two. But you have to get their before October 1st because the "World's Finest Donut" shop closes October 1st. You won't want to miss it!

All is well...this is our week off from chemo. It seems a nice break. My friend, Rita, a 5+-year cancer survivor, invited me to a cooking class she's taking with the Healing Pathways folks. I went last night and it was very interesting. It's all about the "right" foods to eat to prevent cancer (oops...!) and to help in the event you are diagnosed with cancer. It's a "vegan" diet, though our demonstrator didn't use that word until later in the demonstration. Last night was all about fiber - very interesting. Only plants have fiber - nothing with a face or a mother contains fiber. We laughed, but it's true. She made these meatless burrito/taco things with refried beans, guacamole (made with half frozen peas...not bad, actually, but the visual of peas whirring around in a food processor? Not so much!), a mixture of onions, zucchini, mushrooms, and red peppers with some seasoning, lettuce, all topped with a mango salsa and wrapped in a whole wheat tortilla. Very good. I will never be truly "vegan" (my first drawing ever in school was of a t-bone steak!) but it tasted good and I really enjoy the veggies and beans. And the best part? We got a cookbook to go with our class!

Have a great weekend!
Love,
Deb

Hello! Hello! No, we haven't gone on some tropical vacation to a far away land...we're still here and doing well. I had the last treatment in this first cycle on Friday. Now I have this coming Friday off and am looking forward to it. These are long days in Madison and we spend them waiting...waiting for the lab work to come back, waiting for the drug to be mixed, waiting, waiting, and more waiting. Trying to find rest and patience in the waiting is a challenge. We are going to do the preliminary lab work, from now on, here in Rockford. At least that leg of the day will be shortened. That should help some. I just feel bad for Don having to wait. He is a "do-er" and would like to be up and about, looking around and visiting with folks. It's gotten to the point that in his searching he has found an electronic scale that he now weighs himself on when we go. Oh, boy. That took 5 minutes. Now what? Well, he went down to the cafeteria to "look around" and came back with cookies, chocolate milk, and a mini-sub sandwich. (Wonder how that will work with the scale thing?) He's content to wait, a joy to be with, and quite the comfort...but the waiting gets exhausting for him and that bothers me.

Fight. We here that a lot along this cancer journey. Fight. Yes, and it can be a good thing, too. In times gone by, we have encouraged others along in their "fights" with cancer..."keep fighting", "keep up the fight", "press on" - same thing? And now we are encouraged with those same words from you dear loved ones. Fight. It's a biblical principal, too, isn't it? Nehemiah records for us that when opposition to the rebuilding of the walls arose, he encouraged the people working that "Our God will fight for us!" (Nehemiah 4:20) I want to be on that team!! Fight. Paul writes quite a little about "fight". 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 records for us that he does not "fight like a man beating the air." No, he tells us to run in such a way as to get the prize. He fights as a man who will win! Three different times within the books of 1 and 2 Timothy, Paul encourages Timothy (and us!) to fight the good fight. Keep the faith. Win the race. Fight.

And fighting I am. One of the things I fight is the pure selfishness of this disease. And I bring this to you now as a prayer request. My life has been so me-focused since March that I find it very discouraging at times. I know that some of that must be...I know that, but we - Don & I - don't want to be inward-focused people. Never. I'm concerned I will just become so self-centered and "all about me" in conversations and life itself. This cancer is just huge and seems to get the better of my attention and thoughts most days. So I pray, constantly, that God will continue to "open the eyes of my heart" to the needs and concerns of those I come in contact with. That this cancer and the threat of oppression from it will NOT be the focus of my life - but the joy of living in the love and grace of our Lord would loom larger than life itself. A big task for sure. Fight. I will fight hard. Keep the devil and his discouragement away, dear Lord!

Please know that I share this, not looking for sympathy or an "it's OK", but as a way to let you see some of the struggles that we face in our fight these days. Yes, I know that we smile a lot, we are certainly blessed by the words, hugs, tears, and "arms around our shoulders" of you all and I don't want you to think for a moment that we have a perpetual "Pollyanna" attitude. We do not - there is discouragement along the way. And there are things that threaten to drag us down. I share those with you now. It's not all about beating the disease, it's about doing so in a way that we win the prize!! That prize of eternal life with our God and Savior.

Thanks for listening once again!
Love,
Don & Deb

Happy Labor Day! It's been a lovely weekend - and more to come, besides! We've gotten to spend time with dear, dear friends from far away, with family nearby and with more family yet today. And when we gather for holidays, what do we do? Of course, we eat! We've got a family picnic today as perhaps some of you do, too, and we're bringing this chocolate zucchini cake. The recipe was passed along from Don's cousin, Bev, in Minnesota and it's wonderful. Don even ate a piece before he realized there was zucchini in it!!!

Chocolate Zucchini Cake
1/2 c. butter or margarine, softened
1/2 c. vegetable oil
1 3/4 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1/2 c. buttermilk (I didn't have buttermilk this time, so I used 2% with a tsp. of vinegar)
2 1/2 c. flour
4 T. cocoa
1 tsp. soda
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. salt
2 c. grated zucchini, peel & all

Topping
1 1/2 c. chocolate chips (I use the mini-chips)
1 tsp. sugar
1/2 c. nuts (I used pecans)

Cream together butter or margarine, oil, and sugar. Mix together eggs, vanilla, and buttermilk; set aside. Blend together flour, cocoa, soda, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. To the butter, oil, sugar mixture add alternately the egg mixture and flour mixture until well combined. Stir in grated zucchini. Pour into 13x9" baking dish. Mix together chocolate chips, sugar, and nuts and sprinkle over cake batter. Bake in 350* oven for 40-45 minutes.

Have a great day...may all your labors be labors of love!

Love,
Don & Deb

P.S. I'm feeling "normal" - legs ache, tummy's a whirlwind, blah, blah, blah...but this will pass and in a day or two, I'll be out of the slump.

Good morning!
All went well with treatment yesterday - except the scheduling part. We were there hours for a 30-minute infusion! While we waited...and waited...we met a lovely family from the Portage, WI area and got to visit with them. (They were sitting next to us and trying to decide where to eat lunch. I started laughing because they sounded just like Don & I when we try to pick a restaurant...then they were laughing when I told them that I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but it sounded so familiar!!) The mom was a smidgen older than I and newly diagnosed with breast cancer. She is in a clinical trial, too, so it was interesting to swap "war" stories!

Onward we go...thanks for your love & care!
Love,
Don & Deb

Good morning!
Just a quick note that we are on our way to Madison today for treatment #2 of this first round. I'm feeling good - climbed back up the mountain - so I'm ready for treatment today. Hoping to blast 'em good today!

Love,
Deb

Hello! My legs are feeling better - very little Tylenol today. Thank you for praying! My spirit is refreshed by your kindness. I'm guessing that these leg things will be like the other side effects - here a few days and gone (hopefully, prayerfully!). The Bible does not teach that a Christian never has pain - or that one short desperate prayer will take all illness away - by no means. My comfort comes because there is MUCH comfort in knowing that God directs and gives strength to endure as are my days!!

I just have to tell you this. Last night I was laying awake a little bit - not long, just waiting for a few minutes to pass by to take more Tylenol - and I began to think about the healings that Jesus did while He was here on earth that we find recorded for us throughout the Gospels. My mind settled on the men that lowered the paralytic down through the roof on a mat to get to Jesus for healing because there were too many people crowding the doorway. (Mark 2:1-12) What marvelous folks those were!! I'm guessing here, but don't you suppose the paralytic was so very grateful for those men who found a way to bring him to Jesus? That got me to thinking today and I've read just a little bit of the healings found throughout Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. A lot of the sick, paralyzed, blind, demon-possessed, and otherwise unhealthy folks - not all, but a lot - were brought to Jesus by other people...family, friends, perhaps neighbors (the Bible sometimes just calls them "people").

My thought is this...how grateful we are, beyond words, for the love and care, prayers and tears of those of you that are surrounding us now and bringing us before the throne of God. And in the days to come. Unbelievably grateful!

Love you,
Don & Deb

I am so sorry, but this will not be an uplifting read for you, I'm sure. If I sound like I'm whining, I am. No doubt about it.

Fewer side effects with this new drug? Or, maybe they said the side effects would be less intense. Either way, there are NEW side effects - one that I have not had to deal with yet, but I'm gathering is quite common for chemo folks. Oh, goodie. I am having leg aches/cramps that are a little bit of a problem. They started on Saturday, both legs and from my waist down. Off and on for Saturday and into the evening. But by Sunday morning they had taken up roost and appeared to being staying for an extended vacation. These aches or whatever are not charley-horse-type hurts. My legs feel like they are "percolating" - pulsating, maybe - but with aches that are constant. I talked with the folks at Madison and they have assured me that this is one of the side effects. We're starting simple-like with Tylenol, and though at first it seem to help, it does not seem to be doing the trick tonight. Perhaps it's because the sun has gone down and so has my patience. I am just trying to wait it out and hope that this passes as have the other side effects.

Pain tends to lower our resistance to the devil, doesn't it? Or at least it does mine. I feel myself becoming more vulnerable to feeling sorry for myself - and that isn't of any help to anyone! Thank you for your prayers for all this. I feel so very selfish coming to you and asking time and again for your prayers. Don and I cannot do this on our own! We need the help of our heavenly Father and we thank you for your petitions on our behalf.

Well, it's Tylenol-time and I'm trying to stay on track hoping that will help some.

Love and thanks,
Deb

OK - flexibility! It's a good thing for some things. Cancer may be one of them! Madison called today at 12:30 p.m. while we were lunching at McD's (remember, it's Friday and many of the Andersons along with other family, friends, and who ever comes eats lunch at McD's every Friday...stop by sometime!!) and said the drug was in. We were thrilled! (I wondered if transplant patients feel like this...waiting and wondering and then you get "the call" and off you go!!) We made it to Madison, did the lab work and got all hooked up with the chemo drug. Tiny little bag - must not be a 1/2 cup of liquid in it. And get this - NO nausea medicine. None. I got a little concerned and asked the nurse 3 different times about it. She kept saying "you won't need it". Don kept looking at me like - she doesn't know you!!! Finally, I had a little talk with myself first and the conversation went something like this...you are going to MAKE yourself sick if you keep this up, so STOP IT! Then I handed it to God and mentioned that I hoped these folks knew what they were talking about!!

We were in and out in a jiffy, though it was just about a 6-hour trip all together. It's about 8:00 and I am just fine. Tired and feeling a little strange - like how could I have gotten this chemo stuff and feel just fine-strange, but good! I'll take it!!!

Next Friday, same thing...Lord willing.

Have a great weekend...and give the Lord thanks for the blessings in your life...I'm guessing they are many!

Love,
Deb

Good evening...just wanted to drop a line here before turning in. It looks like we are not headed to Madison tomorrow morning. The chemo drug has not arrived in time for treatment. If it comes in tomorrow morning sometime, they may call and we can dash up tomorrow afternoon. That seems unlikely at this point. So, the appointment, then, will be next Friday. Another week. But, that's ok, too...helps me gain a bit more strength and white cells before beginning again.

Good night, sleep tight!
Love,
Deb

Hi there...we're home from Madison after a long day of "meet & greet". We met two of the gals on the research team, met the folks at the research facility that will monitor the CT scans, and met another doctor in the group that we hadn't met before. Had labs done early this morning, then the clinical trial paperwork - lots to read over and contemplate before signing. Grabbed a quick bite to eat (before the 11:00 a.m./no food for 4 hours before the CT scan), then headed to the research building. We had a couple of hours before the scan, so we found a shady spot and took a little nap. Beautiful breezy day in Madison, though it looked like clouds were rolling in as we left town. The scan was quick - 10 minutes. I was a bit tummy-tossed when we got home (the pre-test drink didn't set as well as it had before), so I went right to the chair to get things calmed down. Don headed off to do a little work and now we're in for the night.

We'll return Friday morning to Madison for more blood work (it's a marvelous thing that God has done to make sure our bodies keep making that stuff because there are those that stand ready to keep taking it!) and the first chemo. It should be a short morning!

Just wanted to jot you a quick note this evening...enjoy you're evening!
Love,
Deb

Good news, good news!! Our doctor called just now and said that "they" have chatted about my case and I can participate in the clinical trial! We are so grateful for that - it just seems to give us more options to lick this thing. Yippee!! I will go to Madison next week for a pre-trial CT scan and then go back later in the week for the infusion. All the infusions will take place in Madison as the trial procedures must be monitored closely.

We are trusting that the Lord's hand is in this - we have prayed much for wisdom and open doors. We are just simply trusting His care!

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement during this most discouraging and emotionally overwhelming week. The words of Scripture that you've sent, words to songs and poems, along with your caring "I just don't know what to say" speak volumes of love to us and buoy our spirits. We hope that they have buoyed yours in return.

Love to all,
Don & Deb

Hello...we are home and unpacked from Madison. I forgot to tell you of our most recent dining adventures! Though saddened and disheartened, we still find wonderful places to eat. Priorities! We ate lunch yesterday with family & friends at Fat Jack's BBQ in Monona (kind of like Rockford/Loves Park). It was quite the scene! Tuesdays are "all you can eat" ribs & chicken and most of the men in our group had that...some of the "bone plates" were 4-5" high! Looked like a pig crawled up there and died! You could smell the wood grilling throughout the restaurant and did it ever smell good. I had chicken alfredo and it was the most unusual chicken alfredo I'd ever had. It was spicy as all get-out, had peppers, onions, and mushrooms in it. That will teach me to order chicken alfredo in a bbq house! And for supper? Don & I had an "exquisite" meal together...Cheetos & a pint of chocolate-and-the-kitchen-sink ice cream! From the little grocery store/pantry in the hotel lobby. Exquisite!

We are still soaking in the news from yesterday. I said to Don this morning that I feel "whooped up" on. Just feel beaten up. I was reading back over my notes from our doctor's visit yesterday and I had missed reading one of the notes I'd made while doctor was talking. It was a note about the lymph nodes in the pelvic region - though the tumor has shrunk, there is increased activity in the lymph nodes. Just gets better & better, doesn't it????? The doctor also said that whether I do the clinical trial or the conventional combo drugs, the schedule will be the same...1 day a week for 3 weeks, one week off, then begin again. And it will be for the rest of my life or as long as it works...we had not heard that before. The rest of my life.

So now we wait...wait for the doc to call to say whether or not I can participate in the clinical study. Please pray for wisdom on our part - to know which path to take. We are leaning towards the study, but must wait to be accepted.

Again I would ask that you might pray for our families...Kurt & Jenn and Mia & Livi...our parents and siblings, too, and other dear ones (many of you!) that are walking close by our side...oh, how we love you, each one.

God's blessings to you, each one...
Love,
Don & Deb

Thank you for praying for us. We are strengthened and encouraged and we believe our strength and courage is a result of those prayers. We just continue to pray that we are vessels that can be used by Him - no matter what.

We met with the doctor this morning and he reviewed the PET scan from yesterday. It appears that, once again, we are met with challenging news. His observation was that there is "an increase in metabolic activity in the lungs" and that there are new tumors growing. There is also increased activity in the pelvic lymph nodes. Ugh!!! Not the good news we were hoping for. Don said just a little bit ago - "I'm not liking this path we're headed down." No, we certainly aren't liking it.

He did say that there are tumors that have shrunk - that is good, but not good enough to continue the treatment. We have stopped the chemo that I have done up to this point - and scheduled to do this week. We have a couple of options...one is a trial study and the other is another drug combo. If I qualify for the study, I believe we will do that. If not, then we'll do the other. This is still all very "new" and we haven't had time to absorb the shock, once again, of what this really means. But we have calm heads - sad hearts - and we'll take a little time until we hear from Dr. Rose to make our decision.

We are staying in Madison for tonight and taking a little time to rest. We're trying not to be overwhelmed with all this. Like I said before - God is God no matter the outcome. Though it feels like the flames are lapping all around, we will persevere. Thanks for your love and concern.

Much love,
Don & Deb

Good afternoon! It's been quite awhile since I've written to say "hello"...hope all is well with you. It's been blistering hot here in northern Illinois - as it has been across much of the country. Lots of iced tea and ice cream (more tea than ice cream, though). Speaking of ice cream, we have just learned that Don's cousin's son & daughter-in-law have opened up an ice cream shop in Lodi, WI and they serve...guess what? Babcock ice cream!

It's been a great week - filled with activity and "stuff". Seems the week just before chemo begins again is the best of the bunch and I think I saved everything for this week. Perhaps a bit much, though - I was in tears when I got home from the grocery store on Thursday and told Don that I didn't think I could manage by myself at the store anymore...it was one of those "but I used to be able to - what has happened?" moments. I have rested and that has passed and I will tackle that task again another day!

The body scan (PET) is set for Monday morning in Madison. We are leaving for Madison on Sunday after church and Kurt & Jenn and the girls are coming with us. We'll have a day or two in the pool amongst test/treatment and enjoy our time there. We meet with the doctor to get results on Tuesday and assuming all goes well with the PET scan, I'll start the 4th round of chemo on Tuesday also.

This is what I'm thinking right now - have you read about Daniel's friends being thrown into the fiery furnace? (Old Testament Daniel, the 3rd chapter...terrific story - and true, to be sure!) You've heard about Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? They wouldn't bow to the king or worship his golden image and the king got mad and threatened to throw them into a blazing furnace - and the scriptures say "immediately". No time to bargain or whine or complain or call a lawyer. Either they bowed now or else. And the king asks this pointed question..."Then what god will be able to rescue you from my hand?" (Dan. 3:15). The three men, who desired to worship the One true God Almighty, said this..."If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king." Pretty confident, weren't they? But this is the part that really packs a punch. They go on to say "But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up." Wow! Even if God does not rescue them, they will not bow...they will endure what life brings.

I do not pretend to have the courage that these men had - and others in the Scriptures - but I serve the same God and my heart shouts out with them - even, God, if this cancer hasn't shrunk or gone away, even if ill comes my way - I will serve You no matter.

By the way, God DID rescue the 3 men. Scripture records for us that after the king threw them into the furnace, he saw FOUR men walking around in the fire - unbound & unharmed!!! The king referred to the 4th man as an angel (vs. 28). After the 3 men were brought out of the fire the Bible says that their bodies were not harmed nor was a hair of their heads singed, their robes were not scorched - and no smell of fire on them!! The king said this..."Praise be to the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego...they trusted in Him and defied the king's command and were willing to give up their lives rather than serve or worship any god except their own God." The king issued a decree that anyone who said anything against their God would be cut into pieces and their houses be turned into rubble, "for no other God can save in this way." The king recognized the One True God and HE is the GOD I serve - because there is no other God!!

So, armed with the Holy Spirit, the prayers of many, and the peace that passes ALL understanding, we are off to Madison. Come what may, God is still God and that will never change!

Love to you all...and many thanks...
Deb

Hi there...you will never guess what I did yesterday morning! I got my hair cut!!!!! No, not a "cancer buzz", but actually cut - like it was getting too long to manage! Yes, it's much thinner, but it's there!! And now it's easier to manage because it's a bit shorter and tidied up. Yes!! I know, in the whole scheme of things, having or not having hair is not very high up on the "important" list, but I'm enjoying having my hair. I wouldn't have guessed, at the outset, that I would have hair this long into treatment...but hair I am. Thank you, Father, for the little things.

This isn't very high up on the "important" list, either, but it's one of the fun things in life. I am constantly on the lookout for a good blueberry muffin recipe. There are just some things that say to me "yes" and banana bread and blueberry muffins are two of them. I've got the banana bread down pat. Now on to the blueberry muffins. I think I may have found it. Then our daughter, Jennifer, made them and added a butter crumb topping making a good muffin so much better...perhaps a little powdered sugar/butter glaze might just put them over the top! Here's the recipe and feel free to add more blueberries, too!

Blueberry Muffins (courtesy of The Latimer House Cookbook)
2 c. sifted flour - ok, I didn't sift it
4 tsp. baking powder
3/4 c. sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 c. blueberries - I used frozen and a heaping cup
1/2 c. melted butter
1 c. milk
2 eggs, slightly beaten

Crumb topping
3/4 c. flour
1/4 c. sugar
Dash of salt
4 T. butter at room temperature

Preheat oven to 400*. Grease muffin cups (I used paper liners instead). Sift 2 c. flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt (I stirred, didn't sift) and add blueberries to coat. In separate bowl, combine 1/2 c. melted butter, milk and beaten eggs. Add to dry ingredients and mix only until combined. Spoon batter into prepared tin. For crumb mixture: Mix together 3/4 c. flour, 1/4 c. sugar and dash of salt. Cut in 4 T. softened butter and mix together as for pie crust until well-combined and crumbly. Sprinkle tops with crumb mixture. Bake until a tester comes out clean, about 20 minutes for large muffins and 12-15 minutes for mini-muffins. Be careful not to overbake. Makes 16-18 muffins.

"Taste & see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him." - Psalm 34:8

Enjoy...
Deb

Hi there...Do you get tired of reading about "WNT" - winded, nauseated, and tired? I'm guessing you do! I am that - but better. Saturday & Sunday were not near as symptom-free as Friday, but I'm feeling better and better each day. Like I said before, there is a pattern here and this is now "normal".


We have just passed the 4-month mark. This diagnosis came just 4 months...and though Dr. Rose said he could not be sure (wise man!), their experience showed a 12-month life expectancy for this particular cancer. You are smart enough to do the math. You know what that means. I ponder what I have done with this just-passed one-third of the rest of my life, if that is what God deems so. How have I spent it? I pray that what has been done has been to serve God's greater good and made a difference in the lives around me for all of eternity. Pressing on!!


Are you refreshed and encouraged when you read God's word? I certainly am. Sometimes nothing seems right with the world, life is chaotic and busy, there is unrest within and reading His word sets me upright again. Reading His promises to us, His caring, gentle ways, His basic teachings - the "always" and "nevers" and how to behave and treat other people...His word brings peace and calm to my soul.


However, there are many times when I read Scripture that I am challenged to move away from sin - to stop sinning - to clean up a heart-illness, to put bitterness and anger aside, to be gentler, kinder. There are times when Scripture sets my thinking straight again after I've listened to the world or wandered a bit from the Truth. Then there are things that God doesn't say. Those are some of the most intriguing to me. (But we must be careful lest we draw a conclusion that God never intended.) I was just reading an article written by Joni Eareckson Tada sent to me by a dear friend and the jest of the article was (or at least what jumped out at me) that it was not Jesus' purpose here on earth to simply heal people physically. (She sites examples from the gospel of Mark.) We hear much from well-meaning folks to the contrary, don't we? "If you only had more faith"...etc. Physical healing would be near & dear to Joni's heart, as many of you know, as she was paralyzed from the neck down in a diving accident when she was a teenager and I believe she may be late-50's or so now. She's had many years and difficult circumstances to ponder this healing stuff. Jesus' purpose, as we're told in Scripture, was to seek and to save the lost. There are many of God's people that will not experience physical healing in this lifetime. Perhaps I am one of them. Perhaps you are. But we all have the opportunity for spiritual healing - the only healing that really matters for all of eternity. Have you pondered how long eternity really is? As I read in Scripture - and you can, too - there are two and only two choices. Heaven or hell. Both real. And it's not a flip of the coin or some arbitrary thing. Our destination will depend on choices and paths we travel here, our obedience to God's word...repent, be baptized, live faithfully. And His loving grace and mercy. May it be so with you.


Go out today, be kind and compassionate in the name of Jesus!

Love you,

Deb

Hi...made it home safe yesterday from Madison. Treatment went well and the pattern is the same...a little tired, a little nauseated, and little "discombobulated" is the only word I can think of. I think the "discombobulated" is because of the drugs for the nausea (dizzy, confused) - but it is a pattern of how things are after treatment so it is now "normal". So, I take things a little slower than usual. I went to Woodman's all by myself today - day after treatment and that's a biggee!!! I was tickled and so was Don (although I think had he gone instead of me, we would have gotten only the 3 things on the list, not the 8 bagfuls I came home with!!!).

I must tell you - this cancer thing is just the weirdest thing ever. I do not feel like I have cancer, I do not look like I have cancer, I do not act like I have cancer (except for the drugs and side-effects). It's just weird. So I am taking all this as a huge, HUGE blessing from God and giving Him thanks and praise. And hoping that I can remember His kindness to me if or when the "difficult days" our doctor spoke of come to pass. Not borrowing trouble, just me talking out the top of my head!

Have a great weekend...
Love,
Deb

Good morning...had a good afternoon & night, resting and reading a little. My mom & dad came up to sit with us yesterday and that was so nice. I hope it helped to take a little of the "scary factor" out of their lives just to see what the process is like, where I go, and the wonderful, wonderful nurses that care for me while I'm here. We had a little more Babcock ice cream in the morning while the drugs were running. My nurse came in and said "ice cream & chemo - a wonderful combination!" Then they took us to another new place to eat for lunch, though I can't remember the exact name - something about Dotty Dumplings - though it was a burger place...and very good. We had a nice time together.

Our appointment is at 10:00 this morning for the final "blasting" session this cycle. All is well...a little tired, a little nausea - but that is now "normal" and most manageable. Lord willing, we'll be home early this afternoon thereabouts.

Thank you so much for your prayers & concerns...they truly mean so much.

We thank God for sustaining, providing, comforting, and giving wisdom & guidance throughout.

Much love,
Don & Deb

Hello from Madison where it's warm & muggy...
Treatment has gone very well today. It was procedure as usual today...potassium and then chemo drugs (2) then more potassium. Tuesday's our long day...Wednesday & Thursday will be much shorter for administering the drugs.

We met with the doc (not our usual Dr. Rose, but another in the group we've met with before and like, Dr. Bailey). I am scheduled for a PETscan on Monday, August 16 with treatment following as usual on the 17th, 18th, and 19th - assuming all goes well with the PETscan. "Well" means that the scan will show, after this 3rd treatment has had time to do its thing, that the cancer is shrinking - is GONE too much to hope for??? - and remission is hopeful. He said the scan could show "no change" and in that case, we would keep on for another 3 cycles with another PETscan after that. The scan could also show that things have progressed or grown and in that case, we'll take a step back and look at what else can be done. He said that if the scan shows growth - not a good thing - even then, we are still in this "together", meaning that we will explore options together and they won't turn me out with a "have a good life, what's left" attitude.

I voiced my concern about the effectiveness of the chemo now since I have not lost my hair as expected. He said that we are not to gauge the effectiveness of the chemo on the inside of my body with what I see on the outside. Most people do, he said. But it is not an accurate test.

My "numbers" were good, though my blood pressure shot sky high just when they took it before giving me the "scull & crossbones" drugs (that's what I call the chemo stuff...comes with bright orange warning labels, nurses are suited up in protective garb...and they hang that stuff and run it into my IV...but we pray it's working!). However, when they took it early during the doc appointment, it was very normal. Just before they took it before the chemo, we had waited over 2 hours for the chemo appointment. When I went to check why so long, the receptionist said that I hadn't checked in - but I had, and with her! She just forgot to check me in...so by the time I got in for chemo, I guess I was stressed. I wasn't feeling that way particularly because we were visiting, but I was anxious about being next & getting started. And I hadn't eaten anything at all yet and it was nearly 11:00. So - to make a long, boring story come to an end, I ate lunch and "calmed down" and my blood pressure came right down to the normal range again. Good.

We had supper at Porky Pine Pete's BBQ. Very good...smoked pulled pork and smoked brisket...yumm! We also had smoked mashed sweet potatoes - that was excellent - and smoked chocolate chip cookies...very unique!!!

Oh - and earlier with lunch we had Babcock ice cream. Very good and creamy. See, we really come to Madison to eat; the chemo is just a guise to get us here!

All is well...very well. THANK YOU, FATHER!!!!!!!! The scriptures about dancing and praising God - that's us, except we're too tired to do much dancing on the outside. We ARE dancing on the inside!!!!!

Love you...
Don & Deb

Hello! I'm feeling much better and all set for cycle #3 to begin tomorrow. Our lab appointment is at 7:45 a.m. so we'll be on the road by 6, maybe a smidgen before that.

Thank you for your continued prayers and concern for us both and our families. We cannot thank you enough.

I'll write more again after we see the doc tomorrow...
With much love,
Don & Deb

Hi there...whew! What a week! We had a garage sale. No, let me rephrase that - Kurt & Jenn had a garage sale (here at our house) and I got to keep an eye on Livi (inside in the a/c) for most of the time. What fun! Garage sales are most unique, aren't they - and it's the people that stop by that really help pass the time and bring to light such humor. Don put out his mean-green-moped-machine. It's a little bit of a thing and makes a noise like a pesky mosquito when you're driving it. But he thought he'd sell it. This is the funny part - each man that looked at it had the same response - I'll go home and ask my wife. What? Really? A little moped and you're going home to ask your wife? This isn't a principle investment here. What did they think they're wives would say? Yes? One guy even came back - after asking his wife - and he said she told him he could spend $40 on the moped...Don was asking $100. Now here's the difference - I would have sold it for the $40 (don't you suppose the wife knew we wouldn't take the $40 so she was "safe" and didn't really have to say "no"...I would have sent him home with the moped on that alone!). Well, we still have the moped. Don hasn't ever "asked" to buy things - I'm not the principal, I'm his wife! I have learned, though, after 35-going-on-36 years of marriage that when he mentions buying a new car (not asking, just mentioning that he stopped to look at this car or that van, or this contraption...and getting that gleam in his eye...) NOW I say "go for it". I tell him that I think we need a new car and he should run right out and buy it. He says I take all the fun out of it!!! I still wish we'd have sold the moped to that young man!


Kurt & Jenn did a great job - and my dad was here the whole time, too. He's quite the salesman. Mom was here and brought homemade cinnamon rolls. (Really, the food is the reason we have a garage sale!!) Mia was trying to sell her stuffed animals and toys. She's saving for something special. It was fun to watch her learn from her dad & mom and grandpas how to "sell". She started greeting the customers, helping them look through her toys - especially if the customers had children with them. She got a little concerned when a couple people bought her toys for their dogs - that didn't seem quite right to her. How could I tell her that some people treat their pets better than their children? Anyway, she made a little money and was just thrilled - AND got rid of some of her stuff!


We are recuperating after the sale, trying to cool off from the hot, humid weather, and get ready for Madison on Tuesday. I've caught a little cold along the way and am feeling a bit under the weather, though still doing well. I'm just going to rest for the weekend and Monday.


We are welcoming our new preacher, Sherm Nichols, and his family this Sunday. They moved up here from Missouri earlier this week and we are looking forward to getting to know them and working alongside them for the Kingdom. They are precious folks who love the Lord and we are glad they're here. Welcome, Sherm & Carrie and Andy!

Take care...enjoy the week's end - and the week's beginning on Sunday.
Love to all,
Don & Deb

Hello! Someone asked me if I had to think about what I write or did it just come pouring out? With the exception of one blog, all I've written just "comes". The one that I had to work at, I ended up going back and re-doing it because it just didn't express what I was really thinking, it seemed "forced". I find it easy to just write what's in my head & on my heart and happening in our home...I have time to express our thoughts this way. Sometimes talking in person doesn't allow time or whatever to speak of the deeper-than-surface stuff. This is one of those blogs that I probably ought to take some time to think about - but again, I'm just typing away!!

I did something last night I haven't done in just about 35 years now. Nothing bad - and please, if this is part of your everyday life, please don't take offense. OK - here it is. I made Hamburger Helper for dinner. What's more - it tasted good and we will probably have it again!! Don't get me wrong - there is nothing wrong with HH...it's just, well, I'm a caterer of sorts. I have over 200 cookbooks & magazines to draw from, I have a pantry full of stuff, along with a freezer with stuff in it, ready to go and a brain overflowing with ideas! One time, right after a luncheon we catered, my dear friend and the host of the luncheon, Phil, came into the work kitchen, folded his arms across his chest, leaned against the counter, tummy full of beef tenderloin, stuffed pea pods, turtle truffle cheesecake, frozen chocolate crepes with caramel sauce & whipped cream (real, no less) and asked what we (Don & I) had for dinner the night before. I had been preparing all day the day before the luncheon and so for supper, poor Don, we had TV dinners. I was embarrassed to tell him, but I told him the truth and he just cracked up - a "juxtaposition" to be sure, he said. It was kind of embarrassing - you know what I mean...TV dinners? Well, in the cooking world, HH hovers right around the same playground as TV dinners (which we also like...and I used to hide them under my groceries in the cart lest a catering client might see me! I am WAY over the embarrassment these days. I hang out those TV dinners for the world to see, though I did turn the HH box face down in the cart). Like a tailor or a seamstress buying a dress at a mart-store, or a carpet cleaner having all wooden floors. It's just a little embarrassing and begs the question, so are you good at what you do? Do you enjoy it? Or is it just a job? My point is, for someone looking at our grocery cart or knowing what we had for supper, would they be able to tell that I'm a caterer? Not when it's full of prepared stuff like that.

For everyone - everyone - I come in contact with, can they tell by looking at my life on the outside that I am a Christian or is my life/being a Christian a "juxtaposition" of terms? I am ashamed to say that, no, not always has an outsider been able to see Christ clearly in my life (sometimes not even an insider!). Cancer has allowed me a long hard look at the package others see all the time - and of course, that leads to the heart of the matter. Am I pleasant? Helpful? Grouchy? Do I convey the love and hope of my Savior? Am I a "glory-child" of God's - giving Him the glory for His work - through good times and difficult - in my life. Am I obedient? Faithful? Though we are most grateful to the doctors & medical world for their God-given talents, abilities, and expertise, it is ultimately GOD that we give glory to for His unfathomable blessings. Like the TV dinners or the HH, I am embarrassed to say that I have not always been the best poster child for my King as I could be. I've lost my temper, I've spoken sharply to another, I've just plain sinned. We don't like to use that word, but that's what it is - that's what God calls it. But by the grace of God, He has forgiven me as His child - and now, now through this journey, as 1 Peter 1:7 says, "These have come (vs. 6 tells us what "these" are...trials of many kinds) so that your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire - may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

Truly, truly I have not/am not suffering grief as like that of the one that penned those words, Peter, or the rest of those in the New Testament I read of...Paul, Stephen...no, my suffering, the little bit of it, is by no means to the extent of theirs. But I cling to the end of vs. 7 - that my faith, of greater worth than gold, may be proved genuine and may result in PRAISE, GLORY, AND HONOR (not embarrassment) when Christ is revealed. Amen and amen.

No special recipe needed for HH, but I do have a recipe to share with you. A dear friend, Sandi Getter, brought this to a funeral luncheon one day. It was all the rage. Ladies were hovering around the salad, trying to figure out what was in it. It was so delicious. She was gracious enough to share it with us - thank you, Sandi. We had it a couple of Sunday night's ago at a church potluck and if you haven't tried this or your part of the country hasn't enjoyed this yet...double the recipe; you won't be sorry!

Sandi's Pretzel Salad
1 cup of broken pretzels (small ones work best)
1/2 c. melted butter
1/2 c. sugar

8 oz. cream cheese, softened
1/2 c. sugar
20 oz. crushed pineapple, drained
8 oz. Cool Whip

Mix broken pretzels, melted butter, and 1/2 c. sugar together and press into a greased 13x9" baking pan. Bake at 400* for 8 minutes. Stir when taken out of oven and stir several times while it cools to room temperature.

Mix the softened cream cheese and sugar together with a mixer. Add the pineapple and stir. Fold in Cool Whip. Refrigerate until serving time. Just before serving, stir in pretzel mixture.

Have a great weekend...
Love,
Debbie

P.S. I had some of the HH leftovers for breakfast...mighty tasty.